A guide to being 5 feet tall,
100 pounds and taking
three tequila shots.

Take selfies with people you
know and people
you don’t.

Hug people who don’t
acknowledge you
when they’re sober.

Scream names over and over
until they give you
attention.

Facetime your best friend
but because of your location
you cannot hear a thing
they say so the conversation
consists of you screaming
at your phone.

And don’t forget to text your ex.
But tonight will be special because
when you ask for a ride home
he will say yes.

But it’s not that simple
before you go you must
stand outside and scream
and chase your friends,
trying to stop them from
calling their exes.
And yell at a guy for not
treating his girlfriend right.

Next you must make a stop
at the local sandwich place.
Where you will fall on your way
to the bathroom to throw up.
Your ex will have to
carry you out to his car.
And when he tries to
drop you off you refuse
to go anywhere unless it’s
home with him.

You lay in his bed and
when he tells you he is
going to sleep on the couch
you cry and beg him to stay.

He agrees but doesn’t stay
long enough for you to fall
and you feel the kiss he plants
on your forehead
before he goes.

You will wake up at 7am
and leave tears for him
on his pillow case.

You will decide to slip out
and walk home, but as you
put on your shoes you let
yourself drink him in
one last time because  
he is the most beautiful when
he sleeps, and unaware.
Then you leave.

You walk home on a November
morning after the first snowfall,
never tripping on your thoughts,
on a walk of dignity for being
the one to leave this time.

When you get home you will
hesitate to shower because you
know the potential this has to
be the last time waking up
with his smell and letting it stay
with you all day.

You will get a text from him asking
why you didn’t let him take you home,
but how do you tell him he already has?
And that it’s empty now?