My mind afloat a pool of sadness as I lay here in my bed on the day of my birth name Without you by my side Remember that rainy day ? That storm ? Where we got stuck on the side of the freeway? I never felt so ******* alive and loved by someone in my life You probably don't remember but I said I would love you in the future a million times more than in the past
It's sad to say, I still feel exactly the same way after you said you loved me while salivating over him and his spit still on your lips and the shame you couldn't admit Hiding behind your mask made out of sweet nothings, and alibis as your ghost stands host of my vacant mind
Slit my ******* throat and try to stitch it with the promises you couldn't keep Cut my ******* heart out and try to make it palpitate with your sympathy drag me down to hell So I can cauterize in your wrongdoings Or throw me up to heaven so I can asphyxiate in your globs holy ******* greatness So he can watch me suffocate in love lost and heartaches and feel the greatest pain of all humanity A broken ******* heart
Ive spend the rest of the year trying to find you in everything Like hopeless romantic films, sad songs, and aesthetic, melancholy sceneries Finding excuses to feed my rage So I can hate you because that's all I have left at the end of my fingers tips
I got a hole in my soul and I wish I was dead, not literally but I feel that way And as soon as the hands on the clock bend forward to strike 12am I'm going out of frequency and You're the only human in the world I wanna see the only person in all the parallel universes and boundless worlds Who I wanna be with No matter Where or why and how many times I find myself drowning in time While this plays out infinitely, indifferently, badly, or chaotically I would spend my life searching for that one world, that one life Where I wake up next to you and you exist to fill in that empty space on my bed
Love & hate are raging inside of me And this might sound ironic But theres one thing I regret is letting you go for the sake of not having to feel the pain you caused me
Thanks for the birthday wishes, melting candles, and agony.