Honesty here, a poem without prose for context
A broken silence regarding misspoken terms delivered
I don't remember asking you to leave me here
I now wander the streets at night, alone
You're over there, sitting in a soft and new leather chair
A little bit closer to finding who we are going to be
And that's how I rationalize all that has been going on without you

I mean, honestly
I have no clue what it is you now do
Are you aware of how you make me feel?
Defying, lying if I did not mention that it hurts to see you
Is it alright that it makes me sick with heartache?
Is it okay to admit that sometimes I wish I was no longer me?

Yes, because I have always been open with you
I'm a little bit closer to finding the real me
A thousand miles have probably gone by
A hundred new faces introduced and internalized
Friends have dragged me to the gym more times than I can count
Since we last spoke
A litre of tears transpired thanks to you

I'm lying if I say I never keep my eyes wide open
Looking for you
If I laid eyes on you, what would I even do?
Would I ask you to come on a walk with me?
Take a chance and ask for a dance?

If I close my eyes I can see it now,
But if I did that and it never came true?
I would lose another piece of me
To you
And that is why I have yet to speak
To you

Now you know,
You get it, I guess
I am not opposed to discussion
I want to know what is going on with you
I just cannot be your friend
That is a role I will never pretend