Why
Do i
Cause so much pain
To me
you see
i lose but never gain
Family
is supposed to be
family
but not to me
they're the ones who hurt me the most
even more
than i
ever could alone.
its easier to cry than it is to laugh.

its easier to say bye than it is to lend a hand

its easy to wonder why when you're the victim in the case
but when you're the suspect
its easier to be chased

whether you get caught depends on what you do

clean up,
dont waste time,
get in, get out, move.

sometimes the worst gets the better of me too

feels like i land on the sun every time i aim for the moon

and i end up burning to death feeling like the heat just grew.
if only i knew.
it would be this way.

i never
ever
would have saved

myself

that day,
those days
back then

back when
failure followed every attempt

to take myself away from this world.
one day i'll be where i was trying to go

one day i'll see nothing but darkness

one day i really will be all alone.

life just seems to only get harder

and whether i'll last long is something i just dont know.
my thoughts are running around and i keep telling them to stop

i yell and throw all my belongings around

i try to be normal i try not to exist

i try to be happy i dont want to be like this.

im ****** up in every way and no one can help.

i dont know how the **** im gonna make it by myself.