i remember when my life was simple.
when i had everything to live for.

i place my ******* on my chest
right under my left breast
feel my heart beating but i dont want it to any more.
i want the life i had before.

i wish that i could just do it.
the knife is pressing my skin but wont go through it.
what is scaring me more than to continue living?
the pain?

letting go of what i know i hate doing?
life...

what's keeping me from leaving it?
that i can't come back to it or that i'll be bleeding then?

blood makes it real,
blood will make me feel,
and by then it would be too late.
my life all over the blade.

what's stopping me, i mean really?
i really want to go, right?

or do i want to stay and just live a better life?
that's the problem.
i dont know how to make it better.
i just want the life i had, i want the life that i remember.