There's a point of incredibly deep sadness when it all stops.
The world, the feelings, the crying at 3 o'clock in the morning it disappears.

I felt it last night and feared I had done something to try to make life stop but I hadn't so like many sad nights I escaped to dreams and wondered if I'd wake in the morning...

Not even the heart aches or longs for anything...like the brain finally one and now it sit quietly  in you chest. You hope it would cry like the -zillion times before to remind you it was there. But you get nothing just silence.

There is that point of deep silence where everything you wish would just go away....finally does....and it's not what you wanted.

I've reached that point and I want to go back...even when it hurt because now...I don't know what I even am.