"but i care about you."
he said ...

       after i heard through the

g r a p e v i n e

       that he'd shared our energy with another.
he had ****** himself within her & she moaned his name
... probably.
& while he's sleeping peacefully, here i am,
rolling in bed, going insane.

"but we have a good thing together."
he said...

       after i saw a text come through his phone,
       it read

i m h o r n y b a b e, w h e n u c o m i n g t o s e e m e ?
    
       right then & there i wished i was blind
& i felt the tears run down my face.
i just didn't understand, how love,
something that's supposedly so beautiful...
could cause me so much pain.

"but i love you."
he said...

        as he tugged on my arm, his eyes screaming

p l e a s e d o n ' t g o

         but his actions being the antithesis of that.
& that's when i realized, i'd given him the power
to constantly break me.
break me &

B R E A K me, until i believed i was nothing.

"but i care about you."
"but we have a good thing together."
"but i love you."
i doubt i'll ever believe those lies again.