God,
     Today I woke up and I wish I hadn't. I feel so alone and am back in a state of mind where contemplating suicide every day is comforting. Perhaps this is my suicide letter to you, God. My bestfriend is miles, cities, states away and she's the only one that could understand. My boyfriend sleeps with other girls and leaves me on the backburners nine out of ten times. So tell me, how do I know love? My body is disgusting. I don't understand how anyone could want to touch me, let alone love me. I can't even love me. I would rather be dying on the side of the road from a heat stroke than to have over 150 pounds on my body. I'd rather have no mom than a mom that doesn't care. So tell me, how do I know love? So my prayer to you is to let me find hope in another day. To let me not feel bad for living or eating.

                              Xo,
                                    Brianne