when I get drunk before 12 a.m. people tend to,
leave because I keep repeating how much I miss my ex girlfriend and her ******* amazing brown eyes and how,
much I hate how my sister is so **** perfect when I'm not. she must have forgotten to give me the recipe.
I hate when people brag about their new boyfriends and how many times their,
parents have caught them having *** because it's not me and I'm so ashamed.
I hate that if people beg me long enough I'll,
do as they please because I need the affection and the,
attention I never had because I was abused for 10 years by the people who was supposed to give me attention,
love,
support. I guess they were never meant for loving. maybe that's why divorces are always an option and I'm so glad that I don't even have the ******* opinion to,
marry all over the world yet. but what if I fall in love with a country through a person,
again,
who gets down on,
one knee with a beautiful ring, and asks me if I wanna spend forever with them,
as if forever even ******* exists?
then I'll at least forget my ex girlfriend and her ******* amazing brown eyes and my sister's recipe for the perfection I craved but never got because my happiness rely on the people,
who tend to leave when I get drunk before 12 a.m.

(e.k.j.)