I swear
all I ever am
to any man
or rather boy
I've ever known
is a distraction.
some action.
An attractive thing
with which they can bide their time
(What about mine?)
until something else comes along.
and trust me, that doesn't take very long.
And sometimes it makes me feel okay
sometimes it makes me feel worthwhile
until I realize
That it doesn't matter what I say
or do
it's always going to be a game
to them.
Those men
who look to me for a distraction.
a meaningless piece of action.
And then there's me
poor and weak and hopeless
(as if I didn't already know this)
expecting it to make me feel
anything more than worthless.
And sometmes I pretend that I can play,
that I, too, love this game.
but the truth is I hate it.
I hate the way it makes me feel
and I hate the person inside this shell
created by this personal hell
In which disreguard is all I get
and all Im left with is feeling like this.
Because I'm only ever looked to as a distraction
and a worthless piece of action.


So come one
come all
and push down the girl
who will so easily fall
for the boy with a good charade
that's all they ever are these days.