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nessa Dec 2014
They were walking side by side
As the wind whispered their secrets into their ears
As the truths were all they thought about
As the moon watched over them
As they gray sky looked down at them
They talked
They walked
They laughed
But inside they knew they were crying
It might have been funny
What they spoke of that distracted them
But it was not funny enough
The saddness still settled on their minds
Making their thoughts heavy
Their shoulders slump
Their emotions dramaticly fake
Their tears, smiles
Their eyes, peddles
Their bodies numb
Their mind sick
The saddness was a heavy rock on both their shoulders
A massive weight
Making them collapse
They spoke of how the sadness has effected them
The problems
Making them broken
"I'm not broken," the younger one said
She was smiling
pretending she was telling the truth
She wasn't
She was joking
Afraid her sadness was extra weight onto others, if they knew
"Yes, you are. You're always mad," the older one says
Knowing something was wrong with her, too
Yet, not knowing how torn she really is
Not even close
"Being mad, is how I show happiness," she says
"You're messed up," says the older one
"No, I'm not mad, I mean--a grumpy sound-- I am happy..you see? That's just how I show it," jokingly, insisting
They laughed
But she was so broken
She was so lost
She was so alone
She feels life slipping out of reach
Losing herself
She has no clue what to do with herself
The gray skys watch
And there was no moon watching
nessa Dec 2014
I would wait a million years
I would cry a million seas
I would tame the wild
I would cross a million oceans
I would reach a bright star
I would do anything
To reach you

But the truth is: I need you
More than ever

The truth is you are my sanity
The truth is I could not wait a hundred years
The truth is I cannot cry a sea
The truth is I cannot tame a dog
The truth is I cannot cross a lake
The truth is I cannot touch the sky
Truth is I would if could
But I would still try to
I don't know what this is
nessa Dec 2014
When water is all you love
Come to me
When all you do is love
Come to me
When all you do is be you
Come to me
When all you do is bleed
Come to me
When all you do is hurt
Come to me
When you do is human
Come to me*

Oh, dear, it all escalated, didn't it?
But now I know you are pure, and love, and human
Come to me, that's all I'll ever need
You are human, you aren't perfect, you are human. That's all anyone could ask you to be so be it. Be pure, love, and human.
nessa Dec 2014
I'm witless
For many many things
I'm afraid of the dark
I'm afraid of speaking aloud
I'm afraid of saying goodbye
I'm afraid of crying aloud
I'm afraid of being delusional
I'm afraid of forgetting
I'm afraid of rodents
I'm afraid of being in a dark closed place
I'm afraid of psychotic activity
I'm afraid of being hurt
I'm afraid of a lot of things

But you know what I am not afraid of but terrified?
I'm terrified of not being capable of being worthy of your love
I'm terrified of losing this 'love'
I'm terrified of not being in love with you
I'm terrified of not being loved by you
I'm terrified of sleeping alone forever
I'm terrified of falling for someone else
I'm terrified that you'll fall in love with someone else
I'm terrified of not having our strings tied
I'm terrified of this being an illusion
I'm terrified of forgetting you
I'm terrified of this all

But wait there is worse
I am absolutely terrified of waking up to a world without HES
Of getting to seek a world without you
Of getting to seek a world where you aren't the oxygen that keeps me breathing and alive

I would take a room without a door that's completely dark full of rodents, any day

I promise you, I'm not insane
I might be in love
nessa Dec 2014
Sometimes
She wishes she could die
To see who's alive in her life
To see whom of those people
Would cry or feel sad
To make those people realise
how worthy she was in their life
To make them realise how much
They would miss her
To make herself feel significant

Funny, isn't it?
One has to die
To start feeling
  Alive

She has to feel the need to die to finally feel alive
Isn't that the way it is?
nessa Dec 2014
While I copy and paste it
You're out getting wasted
Drinking with your best mates
While I plan our first date

You're counting the hours
While I hear the howls
You're laughing hysterically
While you smile incredibly

Kissing other lips
Or maybe thrusting your hips
Whatever it is
You know it's dangerous
People think it is
Preposterous
They say you'll be taken
Oh, how they're mistaken
You'll be mine and they'll see

While I copy and paste this
You're out getting wasted
Drinking away
And in a nice way
You're looking amazing
You're wearing the basic
Kissing her lips
Or maybe thrusting your hips

Whatever this is
They say it's
Preposterous
or maybe its dangerous

They say I'm mistaken
They it's a phase
They say it'll be over
Please tell them
This love will be prosperous
And no this isn't a phase
Nor a preposterous feeling
Yes, you
nessa Aug 2014
Remembering your eyes
Forgetting the world
Remembering your nose
Forgetting my life
Remembering your smile
The way your lips curve
Forgetting my name
Isn't hard at all
Forgetting everything
And remembering your face
Letting you be the only thing
Available to me
It isn't difficult at all
'Cause you mean the world to me.
To You and I wish you never see this but I wish you would see this; my feelings and heart felt love.
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