Today the last seam ripped
From the veil of purity
I bound myself within
I’ve come to the realization
It was merely a handicap
Masquerading as a noble cause
So adamant not to play the game
My choices left me with no defense
No shelter
I’ve given too much credence to the interactions of chemicals
Falsifying chemistry
Turning a blind eye to deceits
In a way I was always aware
But I eagerly brushed those thoughts aside
Hungry for something else
Aching for some sort of natural connection
But when everything is coordinated and man-made
Manipulated
There is no such thing as innocence
Merely naïve souls unwilling to adapt.

01:52 am
have you ever asked yourself like why you so lonely?*

01:53 am
or empty?

that maybe you give too much of your essence to people and never leave any of you for yourself

01:55 am
i know i do

02:05 am
and like that's maybe why i get so attached to humans

because in them,
i find myself

02:07 am
i need to change, because things shouldn't be this way

02:10 am
but it's hard sometimes you know, when most days you don't leave the house because you feel unworthy of the space you take up

02:16 am
so you'd much rather disintegrate into soil because you've become all too familiar with people stepping over you and admiring the outcome of your beauty but never the roots of your pain

02:19 am
i spend so much effort watering people in order for them to grow and hardly get enough sun shine to feed my own soul

02:25 am*
because i don't know how to do anything else but care for everyone but myself