If we'd lived like normal people-
All of this could have been avoided.
But we didn't.
We were nuts and desperate.
We couldn't help but create this
nothingness that drove us completely crazy,
sad,
empty.
Still, no one's desperation came close
to matching mine.
They all seemed to be able to go back to their lives.
They got scuffed up and they got on with it,
Only I seemed to be left behind,
crying and screaming,
wanting some satisfaction,
wanting to feel something.
I always sought solace in places
where I know, absolutely,
that it did not exist.

Is this what insanity feels like?

My darling, I might,
Be going utterly insane,
For I can no longer tell,
Which way is up or down.
My thoughts mere words,
Flashing pictures in my mind,
Faces of people I can't name,
Touches and feelings I can't explain.
My fingers are frenzied,
Out of control with minds of their own,
My limbs manipulated,
By the monster once locked away.
My screams and shrieks,
Rattle the cage where the demon hides,
Wearing down the walls of which I've built,
To save the world from myself.
Alas, I dread the hour that has come,
Where the cage smashes open,
Releasing the beast into my brain,
Destruction and pain shall forever reign.

Up and down I go
From high to low low low.

Happy in the day
but sad in every way.

Hurting from the inside out
masking what im all about.

I hate the way
The rain softly lands on the ground
Just enough to get my feet wet
But not enough
To let me drown.