come to me sad soul
i do not promise healing
i do not promise saving
just a temporary shelter
for your temporary sadness
come to me sad soul
together we are alone
together let’s feed our starving souls
together in this temporary bliss

**** the twin-size mattress,
that cheap indigo color.
Where my best friend’s legs,
her hands and knees,
were entangled in struggle.

**** his barbell body
heavy and cold to the touch.
She had been hunted  
by someone that she trusted.

**** the world that assumed  
she was kissed. Not gripped,
nor crushed under his pressing force.

**** the cinder block walls  
of that college dormitory,
where she stared and refused
to sleep in her own bed
After that night.

**** the catchy tune of breath
rolling over teeth  
that play in her head.
**** her father. He would say
he doesn’t approve of her *******.

So, she chose to stay quiet.
Forgettably quiet.

You remind me of the flowers,
That grow on the side of the highway.
You're the most alluring kind of ****,
Gorgeous but deadly.
It's always the beautiful things that ****.

Did you hurt me because I was like you?
Or because I needed someone like you?
Can I still pretend it was unintentional?

What do you see when you when you close your eyes,
When the sound cuts off in the midst of the chaos,
And your mind takes you to a place you forgot?

Do you remember living in the eye of the storm,
Fearing the moment the calm would pass?
Was the silence ever worse than the mess?

Do you still sleep on the same side of the bed?
Or did you change that too,
When you reinvented yourself in the image of a dream?

I believe there's another world,
Where you got the life you deserved.
And we never met,
But I'm still enchanted by the light in your eyes,
And the warmth in your smile.
Because I'll always be a victim of the beautiful things.

You remind me of Paris

You remind me of the main streets
So bright and fast I'm out of breath
Someplace I never knew I needed

You remind me of the kids who sit and smoke by the river
The ones who only need themselves
Their independence is admirable, but it's their own personal hell

You remind me of the street vendors
The way you demand my attention
No matter how hard I try, I can't look away

You remind me of the museums
So captivating and fascinating
The parts of yourself that you put on display
So dull in comparison to what you keep hidden

You remind me of the cafes
So effortlessly cool
A calm in all of the chaos

You remind me of Paris
Diverse and indescribable
Something you have to love to understand

If I told you about my November would you tell me about yours?
You always said these things get easier with time, but I’m still waiting.
I’ll mark today down in all my calendars and I’ll get back to you.
3 years wasn’t long enough to forget.
As much as I want to love you, I can’t stand your pity,
And I can’t stand my own fear.
All of my heroes become my villains,
And I’m desperate for something to believe in
Now that I can’t believe in you.
I learned the hard way that I can’t rely too heavily on anyone,
Because once I do they get scared and they leave.
The things that scar me are the things that will scare you
And you will leave too.

I thought we could
                          Be
but your love is a lie.
Your words weren’t
                          True
mouth open, glazed eyes.
I’ll send you
                          To
the landfill of my heart.
You protect
                          Yourself
yet tear me apart.
I look at you
                          And
find myself learning more.
You weren’t
                          The
one, and I won’t settle for
another day without
                          Rest
not another sleepless night.
This testing of
                          Will
I’ve lost this fight.
I can no longer
                         Follow
you into the dark.
I will walk in the light,
and find a new spark.

~kb