Hey,
Do you see it?
I do..
I see my future flash before my eyes, as I look at you.
I feel my heart pound through my chest
As if it craves to be one with you
Hey, can you feel it?
Because I most certainly do.

I imagined us. Over and over I saw us.
It was real. It was you. You were real.
...I imagined us

The way we could be. The way we deserve to be.
Free. In love. Happy. It was real. We were real.
...I imagined us.

In a home someplace. Making love and raising babies. Holding hands. Living simple. It was a dream. It was perfect. You would have loved it.
...I imagined us.

I don't drink.
But when I do, I can't remember.
I lose myself...
But I thought that was the objective.
I thought the point was to feel like someone else.
I always do.

I don't drink,
But when I do, I think of you.
I lose myself...
In the idea of us, in the memory of you
I thought the liquor would make me forget you
But it never does.

I don't drink,
But when I do,
I lose myself...
And it takes a while to find me again
But then just as I find me,
I always drink again.

I appreciate your compassion. I recognize your desire to love and your joy in others' company. I notice your childish ways and your faith in love. I know that you live to be loved.

I once longed for you. I had no other desire above you than to absorb you completely. Feel your energy race through every synapse in my body and embrace you within every fiber of my body. There was once a time that I envied you. I envied you for remaining hopeful in the idea of love and being able to shut yourself away from the darkness that was once me. You found a safe hiding place inside of me that sheltered you from the storm for so long. And then there was light. And so you rose. You blossomed through me like a beautiful rose garden and shared your smile. You made me smile. You made me view the world differently and most of all you let love.

But your time has passed. I'd rather be alone. I wish for you to leave. Permanently. Pack what little remains of you and move out. There is no more room for you here. At this point I just wish for silence. You've brought many happy memories but you've also brought so much heart break.

Please understand, I am most grateful for the light that you have shown. And even though I ask for you to leave, does not mean someone else won't find value in you. Someone out there needs you; it just isn't me anymore.

But my soul does
She calls for you and I ignore her
I tell her to shut the **** up
And sometimes she screams it so loud that I have to lock her away
Because I can't stand to hear it
And I can't bear to believe it...

Rebel?
Maybe.

Sensitive?
Rarely.

Drunk?
Definitely.

Needing you?
Completely.