I fall in love with small kindnesses.
The world is cruel, and you are not.
And that is all it takes to win me.

What therapy does?
It validates the reasons
I’m still mad at you.

There are days when I forget
Misremember
Wander
Lost in a cacophony
Of bruising thoughts and jagged
Tumultuous
Phrases
Rising from my mind like rocks
To break skin and
Snap bone
Words that are leveled at me
By my own lips
Or yours
Words that settled on my heart
Crooked and cruel
Scarring
Lurking there always even
When I know most
Are lies
So I have written new words
On my body
My skin
Bears marks
In permanent pain and ink
Indelible
Phrases
To turn to when I forget
Misremember
My name
The ways in which I am good
Worthy of love
Desired
Courageous and deserving.

Look, its just chocolate
And only the ears are gone
Please stop crying now

this doesn't end well
the moment i chased
that glimmer of light
across your cheekbone
with lingering eyes
on the first evening
i knew it would not

and still

i reached out my hand
to trace the glowing
curve of blood warm skin
because how could i
with eyes in my head
and a beating heart
pretend to deny

such beauty

when your lips tilted
sly corners lifting
you spoke words from my
childhood my home my
own place of safety
as if they were yours
too and meant something

profound

and it was over
between one breath and
the next my heart was
no longer mine but
i did not notice
until it was too
late to look away

to stop

the way i turned my
whole self towards you
inevitably
compulsively like
magnetic north or
a sound in the dark
you were laughing and

lovely

this doesn’t end well
but it could and does
it matter when you
lean into my side
the thought blazes through
my veins whiskey warm
that it might be worth

the end