you keep flying away,
even when you're sober.

where do you go when you fly away?

it all flashed before my eyes again.
looking at you,
i forgot where i was,
that any of this was real again,
that i was here,
that You were here too.

i think was scares me most is us never meeting again.
even more than the world ending,
even more than never being able to breathe again.
i just want to meet you in every lifetime.

will you meet me here again?

when did it go?
did it leave the night you told me you loved me?

when and why did my head decide that what we had was no good anymore?

i can't bring it back.
no matter how much i wanted to, it all left.

then it all went away.

i wonder where it all went.
but it's gone.
i look at you and see nothing.
i look at you and sometimes see them,
him,
her.

never thought i'd make it this far.
so much has happened that has led up to this moment and
i'm
Terrified.
i've been broken, withered down, taped back together and even healed.
the emotional roller coaster that has been brought before me will be ending and next year,
i will be
Free.

you called me and asked me over the phone if i liked you.
i was happy to hear your voice.
i told you i did.

one minute phone call.
"i just wanted to hear your voice."
the permanent uneasiness that resides in the pit of my stomach,
i couldn't feel it anymore.
the corners of my lips turned upward.
i said,
"i missed your voice.".