Tonight I had plans
to study your voice and memorize
the exact color of your eyes.

Plans to lie in your arms
underneath the stars,
maybe sneak into your heart.

I didn't plan to sleep
because tomorrow I'll sleep in Boston
and our little chapter will be all done.

I'm already starting to forget
how your voice sounds,
and now I'll never find out.

But it's fine.
It's not like I even wanted
to say goodbye.

If we jump off the cliff to see if we can fly
The only thing we'll ever learn is in the end we die

I never told you
                              that I loved you
     or about the magnitude of that emotion.

because for the longest time
     you weren't mine
          and then I
               was someone else's.

And now
     my heart doesn't break
     every single time I see you.
     It shatters.

So I carry a hundred shards
     of this shattered heart
          but they cut into my hands

And so desperately I want to show you these wounds
but you wouldn't understand.

Because you know me
in a way I don't think anyone else even could.
But these wounds aren't for the unknown pieces of myself
     they are for the misery
     painted on your eyes.

I'm not stupid, I know I couldn't make you happy.

It's been a ******* year and I still cry
                                                                 because I lost you
                                                                 because I never had you
                                                                 because these shattered shards
                                                                 belong to you

One day the fire between us went out
     and you never told me why.
And now I can't speak to you
                  I can't look at you
     I run away grasping my shards and cry
     for the love I can't tell you about.

What would you even do with my love?
It would be of no use to you.

Something broken
          can be taped or glued or stitched
               back together
                    but once something shatters
                                                                      it is shattered forever.

We've had one night
And the better part of a morning
But already I can feel
That some piece of me is gone
And now it lives with you.

And it is too soon
For me to be yours
But...
I am.

I wonder if you feel
The electricity
From across this city;
I can.

I dare you to look me in the eye
and tell me no.
I don't believe
you can let me go.