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With these wretched wounds unhealed
I find no point to mend the time
Things will never work out
For this is the way I am
Just a creature trying to love
Trying to fight his way to the top
Thus nothing seems to be satisfying
The taste of the love that I lust for, is bound by this forbidden yet mistaken love
I only want  you
to  think  of   me
as someone  you
can  call  "home"
Title is my favorite song by The Shins
 May 2014 Of These Oceans
Michael
I’ve been saying, “tomorrow,” for the last three months, dreaming again in a bent and hollow sort of way, shoving myself into all of my crooked corners. I’ve purposely avoided it up to now, trying to dodge it, like an expert lightning runner —my sad attempts to slip unnoticed past the inevitable summer months.

It denies my wishes for a moderate temperature and ruthlessly tortures me with its slow crawl in my direction, wrapping its clammy hands around my throat to pin me to hot pavement; sparks within me and kindles unkempt fires, burns me at the shoulders like Memorial Day fireworks —feels so potent I can almost see it tucked behind the horizon. Waiting.

I want to taste a sky that slowly darkens, bowing its graceful head to welcome a storm that may never come, existing only to fool me into praying another day for rain.
the cold dirt road on  the mountain
its holes filled with ***** rainwater
a broken fence to one side
marking the edge of her farm
the trees obscure any distance
just patches of meadows and dark wood
the summer song of birds gone to roost
she walks alone hands buried in her pockets
she was born on this mountain
she will be an old woman here someday

a ****** of crows feast loudly
on some dead thing in the tall grass
of the bright haze of the meadow
untouched by breeze and soaked in sun
they gather at the overhang of a dead oak
where beer cans and spent bullets lay
like corpse's of a battlefield lament
the burnt shell of the oak
leans dangerously against the field stone
covered with graffiti
she would wait for him here
the ****** of crows gave way to silence
watching

her father was a good man in his way
lean and quiet with a dark look
but as her father goes to show
one man in his family's arms another in the world
the nature of a man changes when he
steps out his door
few know a man
sometimes none

she is a rare beauty small town girl
but as much as she dreams of the wider world
hard fact taught her nothing like home
the nature of the world changes when you
step out your door
few will care about you
sometimes none
she was born to the mountain
she is going to be an old woman here
few know the heart of a woman
sometimes none
(not what you think its about...but a cautionary tale never the less)
romance the burnt sea
love its stain on your writing hand
romance its dark waters
and the stillness of the words it creates in your heart
evening light shows the beast of tides
gnawing at the sandy shore with restless hunger
feed it your naked feet as you run through the crashing waves
feed it your devil fish of ******* clad thoughts
but hide your face lest it see you and desire you

the beast of tides feeds on the velvet sands of paradise
while its offspring feed on starlight
ever hopeful of redemption foolish as it is

she tells you she loved the beast and the burnt sea
opened her heart to its plain plight
cared for it mended its wounds
spread herself to its darkness
now as it lay off shore she longs to swim in its dark water
she speaks of joining its bitter love
the burnt sea has hills like waves in the grasslands
creates creatures to chase this butterfly
all must taste of salt
even the sky
and the beast and the burnt sea shall see it done
she surrenders her naked feet to the
and rejoices in the salt scent
romance the burnt sea
for it is loved as she is
 May 2014 Of These Oceans
Auss
Cold steel slides across my skin.  
In so much pain. I let you in.
Now I bleed red.
I'm better off dead.

My life is cheap
30 pills and the bottle only puts me to sleep
A rope from a deck
didn't stretch out my neck
A gallon of gas
But my life didn't pass
And a blade, at least one for each finger
And yet my life seems to linger

I'm come to the conclusion
that happiness is an illusion.
And the only one who can take my life

Is the girl I gave a knife.
The girl I owe my life
The girl who causes my strife.
The girl who I love.
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