she asked me,
why I look at her so much.
the longer you stare at the sky,
the more stars you see.

When I was a little boy biking through the lush greeneries of our local park,
I fell down and scraped my knee.
Tears in my eyes, with blood coming out of the tear on my leg, I came to my parents.
Their reaction at first was what I had expected. Shock and fear for their son’s well-being came to their faces, but after realizing I was mostly okay, they uttered a line I still remember quite clearly.

It went like this:

“At least it’s just a scratch.”

And so with that began a life of “at leasts” and compromise.

“At least you passed the test”
“At least you made it on time”
“At least you were only late to the first 30 minutes of the movie”
“At least you were able to cram your homework”
“At least you managed, somehow, some way”
“At least you didn’t die”
“At least you were given part of what you wanted”

Part of what I wanted.


Now, I’ve grown wise enough to know that you aren’t always going
To attain or achieve everything you desire.
But when life always sells you short, you lose hope

But the most cruel "at least" that life decided to bestow upon me was...

“At least…. You met her.”

Yup.

The compromise was I couldn’t have her
I couldn’t make her my home
Because she was never there to stay.
“At least, you met her”

It was a tragedy
But a part of her will always remain
Because that part of her, no matter how small
Somehow changed something in me-
And, dear god, I hope it’s for the better.