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 Jul 2017 Inkveined
Brian Hoffman
It's 3:30 am
Every night something is keeping me up
Every night I lay awake thinking...
Is it insomnia keeping me up through the dark dreary nights
Is it my chaotic bipolar mind telling me nothing in the end will work out right
Is it loneliness feeling as if all my friends left and nothing seems right
Or is it jealously where I don't know my place in the world, but everyone else I know seems just fine
I can't find my mind
I can't make the time
The wiring went faulty
I'm out of place
Am I out of my mind?
It's 3:32 am
Continplating on what I should do with this life
Everyone always says things in the end workout alright
But I can't get any sleep at night
I'm tired of trying
I'm tired of putting up a fight
And for what cost?
All my feelings and emotions are lost.
Bipolar Insomnia
 Jul 2017 Inkveined
Bethlehem
How long
How far
How many places will you run

Your lost
Your afraid
You got to lay in the bed you made

woke up today  same old sadness weighing heavy on my heart
thought that be the hardest part

Made myself a promise to be better
Didn't want to forget so wrote it down In a letter

Told myself you'll do great you know it's never too late

How long
How far
How many days since you've seen the sun

Can't run no more so am  laying here down on the floor
The days there going by I keep telling the same old lie

I pray my sorrow to carry me away turn to look the sky turns gray

Am lost
Am afraid
Now I've got to lay in the bed I made
 Jul 2017 Inkveined
Bethlehem
When the leaves turn and the moon breaks apart,I look at your face and don't know where to start.

A Foolish dreamer who lived in a tower held together by her dreams, but nothing is ever as it seems as time stumbled by, her dreams fell from the sky.

Reality caught her by surprise and exposed it's ugly lies, and a once hopeful soul was forced to live in disguise.

Her world grew unforgiving and cold, as she questioned all she was ever told.
A fragile heart filled with nothing but despair, shattered at the slightest scare.

As months turned into weeks and weeks into days so began the second phase, that left her body broken and her mind a drunken haze.

She lived for the wicked games,that set her world to flames creating pleasure from others misery,for each broken heart she claimed victory.

It's a work of art the way she plays her part, just another clone paralyzed Floating from one moment to another, her heart ice cold she dose as she's told.
  
At the end of the day wishing to dream the night away,but the sandman won't come out to play.

watching as time is washed away and the night surrenders to the day, she knew behind her endless pain was the truth her heart couldn't accept, she was just a lonely being trying to connect.
Shy
I sit there in silence
and glance...
But only if I dare!
because your presence alone
awakens every hair

What I wouldn't give
to flash you a smile
and be able to just sit
and converse with you awhile

back in reality
I'm still in my seat
breathing faster now
clamy hands tingling feet

close and open
go my eyes
is this real life!?
Why are mind and body
in such strife!!

you get up and leave
my soul sings a sigh
I should have said hello
wasn't ready for good bye
 Jul 2017 Inkveined
Bethlehem
Mother
 Jul 2017 Inkveined
Bethlehem
Mother watching me with piercing  cold eyes, your dreams for me were nothing but lies.

Mother suffocating me with your so called love and expectations, my lungs are dying like cancer patients.

Mother who is ever so wise, I've lived my life for you in disguise.
Turning into what I hated, till my lies became too complicated.

Mother am flowed I will be the first to admit, but you are the real hypocrite.
What do you see when you look at me? am not the once fraile girl you knew me to be.

Mother who wastes my youth without care, there only so much a person can bare.
I hear you laughter in my head, it is a sound that I've come to dread.

Mother you gave me the precious gift of life, but all your words cut like a knife.
Why do you hate me? do I remind you of everything you wanted to be.

Mother who feeds on my anger and
Frustration, Like a hunger stricken nation.
Nothing I will ever do will be good enough for you, I feel it in my heart It must be true.

Mother I know you only do what you think is best, that's why you made my life a test  

Mother it seems our worlds are destined to crash, leaving behind nothing but ash.
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