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7.7k · Sep 2013
Cold Winter Bliss
No One Special Sep 2013
Greens, yellows, blues
Indescribable hues
Soft beautiful, no less
Laying under the stars
As colors dance in the sky
All other thoughts left behind
Waves of purple and pink
With splashes of deep red ink
Sprinkled with specks of silver and white
On a canvas of a dark winter's night
4.1k · Apr 2015
Fuck You
No One Special Apr 2015
******* ******* *******
******* and your pretty eyes that put the stars to shame
******* and your smile that made my tummy flutter for days
******* and the way your smell intoxicated me
******* and the way your arms kept me from falling apart
******* and how you made me feel so safe
******* and how you broke my heart
******* ******* *******
2.0k · Dec 2013
Lock and Key
No One Special Dec 2013
Please don't leave me alone with these thoughts in my head
The monsters are coming and they're telling me I should be dead
They force down the blade, they slice up my skin
They tell me I belong in hell, and I should pay for my sins
Humming sweet tunes of death, I can always hear them
No matter how hard I try to ignore their sounds of torment
These monsters in my head they're tearing me to shreds
I want them to stop, with every drop of red, the voices become softer
I can barely hear them now, but they'll be back full volume all too soon
As long as they're still here, my mind will only get darker
I just want the voices to stop, I don't want to hear what they have to say
I want to tear out my heart and cut off my ears, I want the pain to end
These voices in my head make me ashamed of who I am everyday
I'm thinking of ways I could silence them, maybe I'm better off dead
My soul and body are becoming  vacant and empty
The only thing still inhabiting me are those voices in my mind
The quick stinging pain of a cut is dulling the screams, but just barely
I'm already empty inside so all that's left is finding a way to die
I bought a new razor, I have my pills and a tub of hot water
When suddenly I'm hit with a memory, a memory of you
That single thought saved me from the slaughter
You called me perfect, you made me feel beautiful
I remembered your smile, your eyes, how you looked at me
I know you're hurting too, I'm sorry, just know you're irreplaceable
I'm fighting my demons, I'm locking them up and you are the key
No One Special Sep 2013
I know I'm
Not good enough for A team
Not fast enough for B team
Just quick enough for C team
Just barely above D team

I know that you say
He's not good enough for me
You don't approve
No one approves
He's not good enough for me

I'm not as gorgeous as you
I'm not as pretty as her
I'm not your average cute
On the verge of unsightly

My parents say I've changed
My friends say I'm different
I'm sorry I'm not your little girl anymore
I'm sorry I'm not perfect forevermore

I'm showing a few cracks
I know what I lack
You say I'm not good enough
Tell me something I don't know

Tell me of your imperfections
Tell me I'm not the only one
Tell me what you see in your reflection
Tell me of the wrong you've done

Tell me something
Tell me anything
Tell me it's okay to change
Tell me it's okay to be different
Tell me something I don't know

I know I'm
Not confident enough
Not tough enough
Not loud enough
Tell me something I don't know
Because I already know
I'm not now and never will be
Good enough
So now, tell me,
Something I don't know
1.4k · Sep 2013
I'm Right Here
No One Special Sep 2013
(Intro)
Don't let your heart fill with dread
I'm here to hold you near
I won't let you stain you sleeves red
I'm right here and holding you, my dear

(Verse 1)
Put down that blade
I have something to say
There's no need to feel betrayed
because I am here to stay

(Build-up)
Please be oh so careful because
When it is the end of the day
The monsters come out to play

(Chorus)
Like a weight holding you under
Pulling you to the depths of despair
Leaving you to wonder
As you keep fighting for air

How did you get here
Why is this happening
Looking in the mirror
Finding no hope to cling

(Verse 2)
Your mama and daddy might be gone
But I'm not, oh I'm here for you
I'm sorry so many have done you wrong
But many also care and you have no clue

(Build-up)
Please be oh so careful because
When it is the end of the day
The monsters come out to play

(Chorus)
Like a weight holding you under
Pulling you to the depths of despair
Leaving you to wonder
As you keep fighting for air

How did you get here
Why is this happening
Looking in the mirror
Finding no hope to cling

(Outro)
Feeling down and alone
I really hope you know
That I'm right here
I'm right here
1.0k · Aug 2016
Fly Away
No One Special Aug 2016
Let's fly away from here
An adventure we can share
Let's fly to Ireland, Rome, or France
Where under the stars alone we can dance
Let's fly away to a place that's always warm
So we'll never need to hide from another storm
Let's fly into the deep blue sky
Live our lives before we say goodbye
Let's fly away you and me
Free as birds we can be
Let's fly away today
Before someone makes us stay
882 · Sep 2013
Broken and Leaving
No One Special Sep 2013
Who's that broken girl you see in the mirror
The girl you try and hide away from the world
The girl with the frown scarring her pretty face
The girl with scarlet lacing on her wrists
With the red beads turning to streams
Who's falling apart at the seams
She is drowning in pain
As her tears fall like rain
She cuts from elbow to wrist
Knowing she won't be missed
She watches as crimson stains the tiled floor
Craving just a little bit more
Her hand glides one more time
Quick, from side to side
Her last farewell
Her final goodbye
Now she closes her eyes
Letting out a quivering breath
Embracing death
785 · Oct 2013
One Little Bottle
No One Special Oct 2013
1 for the luck I need
2 for the beauty I never had
3 for the size 0 I couldn't wear
4 for my wrong doings and deeds
5 just because I'm sad
6 for the pain I bared
7 for the taunting
8 for my family
9 for my "friends"
10 for the nightmares that still haunt me
11 is just for me
12 a cheers for my life's end
And 16 more for every month my heart beat for you
I'll leave the bottle open and here for you
Just in case you suddenly remember or see
You still love me
633 · Sep 2013
Would You Miss Me?
No One Special Sep 2013
I know I've been a selfish person
I told you I'm sorry, what else is there to say?
I just have to get away
I'm ready to leave and be done
I'm tired of the pain
It's been driving me insane
I pray you remember my name
Without bitter disappointment and shame
Of how I walked away..
572 · Sep 2013
Nightmare
No One Special Sep 2013
My nightmare is now reality, you left me

No real explanation, no apology

Two short texts and a phone call

After pressing end, I fell apart

It ended before it had the chance to start

I know the reason why

You left me all alone

The reason you said goodbye

It was for her..

there's a difference between love and in love

and right now the difference is me and her

you only love me while you're truly in love with her

yes it breaks my heart, she hasn't loved you as long as me

but if she makes you happy, my lips won't speak a word

this is because I want to see you happy

even if it tears me apart
524 · Sep 2013
Lost Soul
No One Special Sep 2013
I've lost all ambition
I'm tired of having to listen
All light has left my eyes
While the rest of me slowly dies
My heart withers and aches
Overwhelmed by emotion my body shakes
Warm salty tears wet my cheeks
I haven't slept in weeks
If you notice my chest is empty
Not quite as full
Because there rests the shadow of
My lost soul
520 · Jun 2015
Broken Cigarettes
No One Special Jun 2015
You little ****. Who gave you the right to decide that for me? I am my own person, if you don't like my choices then leave. Talk to me and we'll figure something out, that's how easy it'd be. If you would help me out, rather than call me out, sobriety would be an easier goal to achieve. But no, you shout and you shout, telling me I've done wrong. Commanding me to change rather than asking how to help me stop... You don't know half of the things I've seen and I've done. What happened to me to make me want to replace the missing pieces. The dark parts of my childhood, how I became a woman at the age of eight. How my step father touched me in that place. That place no little girl should have touched at that age. How dealing with high expectations that I know I cannot meet, not because I don't want to, but because my disability ties down my hands and feet. Feeling trapped by what happened to me. Living with that monster, pretending it's all okay. Controlling all my flashbacks and panic attacks. Pretending to be strong for five younger siblings who look up to me. Setting a perfect example, wearing myself down, ripping myself apart to satisfy everyone's needs. Trying my hardest to keep everyone around me happy because I know what it's like to hate yourself so much your pores ooze self doubt and insecurities. So sorry I drink and smoke **** and I don't meet your religious needs. Just let me finish this last cigarette please.
506 · Sep 2013
Waiting..
No One Special Sep 2013
My heart quickens its pace

As I sit, wait, and anticipate

Shaking hands, rattling teeth

Nervous beyond belief

Was I too fast? Was I too loud?

These are the questions I ask myself

Would my parents be proud?

Or like a trophy collecting dust, put me on a shelf?

Toes tingling, face warm

My heart is torn

I want to go, yet I'd like to stay

At home in bed, I wish I could lay

People encourage, while I protest

They say I did better than all the rest

I try and calm down

Without making a sound

Here it comes, the moment of truth

Like sitting in a photo booth

Waiting for the camera to flash

3... 2... 1... my heart turns to ash
476 · Apr 2015
Hasem, Mi Amor
No One Special Apr 2015
I might be over you, but I can’t forget you
Tolerating the pain you left in my heart
Only took months of bottles and packs
I remember the day I said we were through
Saying you will regret us tore me apart
Why would you say that to my face?
That made my whole world collapse
I would much rather be the one you lost
Or a fuzzy memory
Than a regret you wasted so much time on
You’re the reason my cold heart thawed
You helped me up when I was unsteady
Believe me, I fell in love that day
Never knew someone would care so much
I’ll admit I still drunkenly listen to “our song”
He’s right everything seems to mean nothing
I want to hear you sing to me in spanish
And dance with me dreamily
Your arms were home; warm and loving
Well I’m over it, now it’s time for drinks
443 · May 2015
Darling Please
No One Special May 2015
Kiss me like my lips are air and you're drowning. Wrap your arms around me like I'm the anchor keeping you from floating adrift. Get lost in my eyes that always look for you in a crowded room. Grab my waist and dance with me as if no one was looking. Cherish me like God's greatest gift. Tell me I'm as bright as the sun, prettier than the stars, and as pure as the full moon.
427 · Jul 2015
Tell Me Why
No One Special Jul 2015
My arms are red
My mood is blue
Why the hell
Do I still love you?
377 · Oct 2013
Untitled
No One Special Oct 2013
Two years ago I wouldn't have seen this coming
Drinking until I stumble and fall to the ground
Pools of scarlet grow with my arms slowly dripping
Believe me, I've been trying to turn it around
371 · Jun 2015
Fuck
No One Special Jun 2015
Who am I going to be
You tell me the best
Like Newton or Ghandi
That's a lot of stress
Don't put all that on me

— The End —