being alone
2. spiders
3. ghosts and demons
4. being watched by a ghost
5. creepy noises when I’m sleeping
6. my anxiety consuming me
7. my depression consuming me
8. the dark of my bad days
9. death…
10. you leaving me
11. you lying to me about how you feel
12. you cheating on me
13. you loving another girl while you’re with me
14. you just learning to love someone else
15. that I’m not enough
16. that I’m not enough for you…
17. that everything you have ever told me has all been a lie
18. that one day I will be a bad mother
19. that one day I will be a bad wife
20. that I will remain a bad person forever
21. that I might ever not learn to love myself the way I deserve
22. that I won’t be happy
23. that I actually am a bad person
24. that people talk about me behind my back
25. that no one actually likes me for who I am
26. that everybody is faking
27. that everybody really hates me
28. that I deserve all of this…
29. bugs
30. bats
31. ants
32. snakes
33. creepy old men
34. the internet
35. people who don’t know me
36. people who will hurt me
37. people who think I deserve the way they treat me
38. people who hurt me regardless
39. people who don’t care about me
40. being broken again and again and again…

Everyday is a new day to say I love you,
Everyday your love comes to me a fresh,
Everyday my love for you is renewed,
Everyday my heart yearns for you.


My eyes can't wait to see you again,
My hands are itching to touch your skin,
My lips can't wait to greet your lips,
My heart beats times three at the thought you.


Every day is a new day to say hey,
A fresh discovery of how to say I love you,
A new realization of how special you are,
Every day is another day to be happy because am lucky and favoured to have you in my life.
Today is another day and am happy to say I love you.

Isn't it a strange thing when the sun begins to set?
Like some too-romantic field of dreams that haven't happened yet?

How entrancing when the sun goes down and life just turns to gold
Lying gilded there before my face
--lies blatantly and to my face, just like the myths of old

And that sliver of a second that looks magical to most
To most a golden royal ball, but it doesn't have a host

See, that moment is just sacred, in an awful sort of way
Where the holy and the evil darks have a common note to play

During every other time of day, the light and dark are two
During every other song they play, they play a different tune

During sunset everything deceives itself into a common hue
The vivid reds and blues of midday,
Hidden behind this yellowy lens into a hazy view

And even when the darkness sets, it has two separate parts
One with elegance and beauty, one a cloak for acts of all ****** hearts

But in this moment the angel and the devil do the same
To pull your soul into your mind, your body and your brain

At this time you feel every good you've never done
And all the sickest thoughts you've known? You re-feel every one

The holy self of all goodwill within you breaks
for everything it's missed

While paralyzed in a lustful glow
Remembering every sultry sin you've kissed

For the angel, it's to guilt you,
On the wings of heaven's dove

While the devil tries to win you back
And reclaim all your love

But for me, it's just like the half-second you get
To both step off of the chair, and suddenly regret

Are your proud of who I am?
Or are you rolling in your grave ashamed.
You were the pillar that held up my walls,
and answered all of my calls.

I never hurt so bad, so when did I ever lower my guard?
My dreams, my aspirations, my goals, my life revolved around you.
Always with a smile, I was a fool that never grew,
because you were the pillar who took all life threw.  

How much abuse did you endure? It must have been stressful, I'm sure.
I'm sorry my lover, I could have done more, if only I knew.
Not a day goes by that I'd rather be asleep than awake, so that I won’t have to relive all my mistakes.

Eventually your walls toppled over, so did my heart.
With the blink of the eye, your ardent flame came to an end.
I’m sorry my lover, if only I knew, I would beg god for more time.

So please tell me that you are not ashamed,
Send me a sign, that I have grown and became great!
That I am no longer the same and have changed!

Tell me my lover, for I am starting to think Ive grown but insane.
Am I everything you wished for?
Or your greatest mistake?

Forgive me lover,
For deep down I know I was the greatest mistake.

Grapefruit tree blooms lush
Its proud fragrance dominates
Stirs senses...in white...

Redolence wakens.....
Mind and nostrils, side by side
Inspire and create...

'neath Sunday's twilight
Branches mate....shadows connect,
Entwine....entangle.....

Curved silhouettes form
An arabesque....of shapes
And my own dance steps...

Night impregnates mind,
Scents, trees, starry nights..are turned
To runes..........some, with tunes.

................................
(A cluster of haikus)


Sally


Copyright April 2, 2017
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan