I’m afraid to live,
but I’m also afraid of not living.
I’m afraid of being happy,
but I’m also afraid of being unhappy.
I’m afraid of being alone,
but perhaps that’s the path.
I’m afraid of being second best,
for when was I not.
I’m afraid of being the second choice,
though,
I was never the first.

I was so foolish
To feel what I feel
I was so selfish
To feel what I feel
I’ll just sit by
With a shattered heart
Waiting to be patched up,
Only to be shattered once more.

Your presence brought me comfort,
Easing every trouble just by your sight.
Your smile was like medicine,
Always injecting me with bliss.
Your voice was as sweet as honey,
And my favorite thing to hear.
Your eyes showed sunlight hitting the forest trees,
And how mesmerizing were they.
Why did you have to leave?
I'm on a journey with no map.
You are the sun,
And I'm just a star amidst a trillion of galaxies.

Being alone is good,
but not all the time.
The desolation is accepted,
with the flow of soft piano in the background.
But who will sparkle you with stars,
and make you feel like you're their night sky?

In the desolation when I think of you,
I feel like embracing fire.
Black, red, destructive.
In the noise when I think of you, I feel like holding a rose.
Beautiful, dainty, painful.
At night when I think of you, I feel like holding a bent book.
Broken, imperfect, indifferent.
In the morning when I think of you, I feel like looking at the sun.
Prism, untouchable, poison.
You are the sun, and I am the eyes,
taking in every ounce of pain just to see your light.

What if my mind was like a sea of sparkling diamonds
But no,
I am stuck trying to undo a magicians knot.

Sitting here in the dark
There is black noise all around
And my feautures are blank
And my brain is like a static tv
I'm swimming in an ocean
In an attempt to find land
But to me land is food
Now I'm told less food makes me bad
And more food makes me bad
When will I reach the oasis?