I am addicted to this cigarette filter
The tip touches my lips and I inhale quickly
******* my cheeks in as my lungs expand
Allowing smoke to fill me up like I'm a ******* balloon

Sitting up here, way up here, I feel okay

With the room expanding high up to where I can barely see the roof,

The long window to the left of me is not that intimidating

Frightening me with the open space that I could easily fall out of

And the locked door to the right of me does not make me feel like an outsider

Instead, the window is welcoming me to fly, to leap out and spread my arms as if I am a bird

While the door reminds me that I am not locked out, but I am locked in

Searching for a way that I can escape this quiet sanction that causes chaos in my mind

How I long to be among the pages of a book that captures my attention so sweetly, then pulls me in and consumes me whole until I can’t think of anything else

I must read…I read to escape, to put myself in the place of others, to experience what I have yet to experience, to travel the world for ten to twenty dollars, I read to feel

I feel the emotions portrayed by the characters. The happy characters, the sad characters, the bitter characters. All such beautiful emotions depicted in words. I laugh and smile and cry and I hurt

Ultimately I hurt. The book ends. But I get such an exciting thrill from it that I read it again.