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Nicholas Foster Jun 2016
I was conditioned by your conditioner
Cleansed over again by your tears
I wept over your likely casket
And prayed for the cessation of my years

I'm absent of anything pure
Left with an empty morale
Dead to the people around me
Perpetually perpetuating a scowl

I remember the promise of better
But I am shown that this fact is a lie
I know I'll sell myself short forever
Until my world is left without time

I thought that you'd be my salvation
But you're signing my contract with hell
Because nature is constantly snaping
And you're stealing my secrets to sell

Though I am worth nothing but all of my suffering
And even that is as cheap as the breeze
I know that the audience will be clapping
When I am consumed by the trees
Nicholas Foster Jun 2016
No tables are left unturned
Every lesson lazily confirmed
But a shattered lock
Is the same as a winding clock
Both leave you needing air

Because there is no freedom here
From the battle I can't fear
So I mount the saddle
Upon her golden shadow
It takes me to your door

Where I plead my losing case
And with wine my bloods replaced
So I can hum the words
Sung by the nesting birds
They sing of you and I

Then I shutter at the touch
And I slip right through your clutch
But you'll return to him
And my broken limbs
Will entangle once again

But soon I'll be born a new
And my scowl will perform for you
You'll see the show
Though you already know
It ends with a hallow throne

The queen has fled the day
To be drown inside the bay
Where she'll meet her maker
The damnation of our Savior
Promises skies of grey

Just don't look up.
Nicholas Foster May 2016
I rise only to suffer
I fall swiftly to my death
I land on my shattered ankles
And I can finally catch my breath

Because I'm running out of time
I'm roaming through the trenches
I bathe in the ancient ruins
And swing from the weakening branches

I plant the seed of resurrection
Wait the eternal bane
I seek internal affirmation
But swim in my tattered blame

Unhindered wonder sheds it's skin
And slithers out from my throat
I spark my final flame
But it's extinguished with my hope

The moon shouts it's loud psalms
Bringing light like Prometheus
I can't make out the words
But I'm crying out for new pieces

The sky is ****** with mist
The sun can only blind
I can't see the plagued salvation
All is clouded by mind
  Apr 2016 Nicholas Foster
JM
finding little pieces of shrapnel buried in my brain
I can't pluck them out like I would Rose thorns in my skin
but I can feel them shake shake shake like beads in a baby's rattle every time I walk past a girl who can also stare right through the fabric of my being
Airport security always stop me, strips me and is puzzled to find that there no bombs in my bags or on my person.
But what they don't know is that I really could explode at any moment
Brimming over with words to say to you if I could ever see you again
But this time I want to really see you
Not sneak into a hospital
Run past doctors, surgeons, and your parents
Only to catch a glimpse of you being kept alive by modern medicine
Nicholas Foster Apr 2016
Doubt pours out of the water spout,
which is connected to my face.
So I shut it off,
And like a tablecloth,
conceal my cluttered shame.

I leave my castle,
and with a tattered hassle,
I strike a lovely pose.
But a pose it is, and like a stifled hymn,
I shutter at empty prose.

As soon as I leave,
I cry and then grieve,
wishing I never departed.
I long for my bed, to rest my troubled head,
and get these lost thoughts charted.

Even that's a lie,
cause I wait to die,
caring not at all to think.
The narcotics I bleed,
flushed out by swirling steam,
carry me passed the brink.

But when I start to pass,
crossing the overpass,
I slam my brakes and beg.
Then life appeases,
my Id does what it pleases,
while I struggle standing on one leg.

After night approaches,
I ash my final roaches,
and slip into my home.
Is this incarceration,
disguised as a democratic nation?
The confusion manifests as a poem.

This is never eased,
and with a new disease,
my intellect is infected.
But, this growing doubt,
that clogs my water spout,
is despairingly reflected.

Though, answers dance around,
in their lovely gowns,
they leave when the music halts.
Then my cataract,
allows the mind to detach,
and hides the mirror and my faults.

But, this is not much relief,
because my chattering teeth,
remind me that the world is cold.
Reluctant to breath,
I role up my sleeves,
because the world is for the bold.
I finally figured a piece that could fit
     Decent enough to mention
          That gets deeper with each visit
     And though it wasn't my intention
       We invented vivid scriptures Shakespeare would weep to
           Crackheads could sleep to
       That's just the calm of absolution as it creeps through
         We never needed a deity's forgiveness or god to bear witness
   To this **** that we do behind closed doors cause in these moments I'm finally yours

      And that's all that should matter
Nicholas Foster Apr 2016
And it begins.
The re-emergence off my sins.
The wolves tell me to walk their way.
The government tells me to walk it off.
But I stay where I am.

Swallow this, recite that.
I shout my worst nightmares as if they're fact.
I was taught to hate but learned to love.
From a broken soul, a wounded dove.
Pure was his name.

He flew away, like the elusive day.
I work hard, then harder I play.
I was told this was wrong,
To know only misery, like an empty song.
I knew the words before it echoed in my ears.

And don't you dare walk away
I know you want to flea into the clearest day.
But I can't afford this,
After you overtook me with your perfect kiss.
I won't make it a third time.

Like the mirrors and clocks
That have locked me in this box
I show you an image only the empty can stomach.
Though it weighs on me like horded tonnage.
But, the sun will set again.

Nothing will change.
I still play the game.

I lost, I'm lost.
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