She tells me,
"You're very self aware,
You know what, why and how you do things,
Yet you continue to do them."

I explain to her that I never learned how to ask for help
So I only ever knew how to look to myself for the answer
Which has led me to become pretty creative with metaphors
As well as entertaining internal monologues,
Like when I explained to her that my parents look at me
And see a knot of misfortune
Without looking at all the threads that I'm comprised of
Which led them to this conclusion of me.

She asked me if I ever thought of harming other people
To which I noted that I tend to play fruit-ninja
With peoples faces
In my head.
Though I'd never actually do anything,
Just as I'm able to keep a professional demeanor
Giving no hints to
The constant stream of expletives in my head.

She asks me why I don't feel like I have friends,
Which leads me to disclose
That I can't tell if I work too much
To spend time with friends
Or if I do it to distract from the lack of.

I laugh when I regale her
With how I recently bought a yoyo
Because it is relaxing
And makes me feel like a cool kid
That would be part of the gang in Hey Arnold,
Stating that it's been helping me with my panic attacks
By focusing on making my yoyo
Go around the world,
Pretending it was me,
Circumventing my lack of coping mechanisms.

Iliana looks at me, with her mouth slightly turned down
Attempting to keep a straight face
Though her brows still knit together in slight confusion
As she asks me how I'm able to say all of this with a smile on my face,
"Well," I state, "I don't have time to be depressed."

I can't believe it!
Can't believe it's true
You've lost your love for me
Gone off with someone new,
Leaving me behind
With a tortured mind
I'm still very  much in love with you
How can you be so unkind!?

Don't shut the door!
To come back no more
Don't walk away with another's hand!
Leaving mine alone, reaching out
And wanting you to be there
Feeling only air
My hand is groping in a void
Soon, my heart will be destroyed.

Don't leave me
Be
Near me
Do  you hear my cry
While beside another you lie?

My cry is in vain
In pain I remain
You were rational, you were right
I'm just
A little uptight...
I utter  goodbye with tears in my eyes
I hope
You get on well
As I burn  in Hell!

Don't
Leave me
Be
Near me!

Do you
Hear me?