Anyway. Just because you believe in something it doesn't mean that anything will come of it. Sometimes you suffer great misfortune for believing in something too much. There are times that's it's tough to believe in anything at all.

I think.



Yes,



I'm sure this is it.



The final sign.



The last move.



I.

My Love,

I was sure You were the one.
You gave me such hope,
such contentment.
If You could understand,
the way I feel about You.
Well im not sure.
But now?
This is an all time low.
I have never felt this worthless.
What is the value of my life?
Nothing.
At least to You.
And what about me?
Who do I care for?
Where is my loved one?
Why does no one ask?
Oh right.
Sometimes I forget how alone
I actually am.
And sometimes I don't even think
You notice,
or care.
This isn't something You could
possibly hope to understand.
You've always had someone.
You've always been loved.
Even if it wasn't me.
After all this,
I truly believe I am to blame.
I set You on this path of
destruction,
this craving for something more,
starting with our own failed bond.

My Love,
I am unworthy of apologizing.
The damage that has been done...

But i'm sorry,
I'm sorry for ruining this.
I'm sorry for saying hi to You
I'm sorry for saying forever
I'm sorry for everything.


II.


Why can't You see you're all I desire?
Don't You want true love?
Don't You crave a companion,
who longs to spend
every waking moment with You?
I do not understand.
So I will continue this journey of
uncertainty.
This path through hell.
And I walk alone.
It is clear to me.
I was destined to be alone.

I miss you
There I said it
Those words I promised to keep a secret
Locked away in my heart
Yearning to see the sun
To escape and tell everyone
My deepest secrets
And as I see you with her
Its then when I realize
I was stupid
And wrong
Because I remember
Your kiss
Your soft kiss that made my heart leap
When your soft lips connected with mine
And they danced
Oh they danced
Like two lovers dancing the night away
Because even though they both knew they should leave
They had each other
And that's all that mattered

I stay up at night thinking about the first time
You said you loved me
And I remember
The way your eyes lit up
After you finished forcing the words out
Because even though you meant every word that left your mouth right then and there
You were nervous
And I remember that because
After the words escaped your mouth
You kissed me
But this kiss was different
This kiss was so much more
It meant so much more

And I couldn't help but laugh
When your nervousness got the best of you
And you tripped
And we fell
You on top of me
And I remember this
Because it was then that I knew
You were all I need

And I so desperately wish I could have that back
But I ruined it
I was wrong
It wasn't for the best
I just didn't want to be broken

So now I get to sit here
Watching you be happy with her
Doing everything you did with me
But that's how it works I guess
So I'll just follow along with the script
Because its the only thing I can do
And its all I will do
For the rest of my life
I just have to face the fact
That I am and forever will be
*Heartbroken

I can’t cry anymore
so instead
I just sit there
staring blankly at the wall
and feeling my heart
breaking into a million pieces
and no words are coming out
speechless and heartbroken

*(s.m)