Nights are heartless
The stars are dying
My will,
My breath
Is running out.
I lost my life
In your dark woods.
Howling,
Your love slew me.
The cold unknown
Cut without mercy.
Now I see only one-way streets.
Useless friendships
Waving me goodbye.

Still,
There is so little reason
Left for me to love.
Time has passed
As a roaring torrent,
Washing it all away —
The importance.
The burning passions.
Yet
I lie awake
Staring into unforgiving
darkness.
Wishing to be heartless,
Dying to be nothing
Once more,
Rather than know
another day without you.
After all this time,
No escape.
No escape.

My love burned away,
Like wax.
Leaving just the wick.
A psyche left exposed,
A soul now raw and sick.
Though complications ended,
The days left in-between.
I live among the shades
Passing by unseen.

Cold tiles under feet;
Midnight.
Say goodbye and make
Your plans.
The future has nothing left
to warm you.
It's okay to cry
Just don't expect a miracle.
The love you crave is in the grave.
Be happy for the joy you felt,
The skin that pressed against yours.
The ecstacy you gave
Selfishly.
Slipping through your fingers.
It is no more.

I carry a home inside me
So fragile, the floors
where I sleep are hard.
Little comfort or warmth.
A temporary shack.
Thank you for
the bricks and clay,
Mercy and joy.
A palace that one day
I'll lose — as you won't be there.

The narrative slows
Blank pages —
Once filled
with life.
This tremulous heart,
Fading
Diminished with tears,
Washed with abandonment.
Humanity
Becoming nothing.

I am worthless
Leave me be
Festering,
With ****** shame
No radiance
Only a light that burns
The White Heat
Slowly,
Choking me.
Welcome
To this world of hurt
SPIT YOUR ASHES IN THE DIRT.

The lies we tell
our lovers
our friends
Hurt more than any
Malice could.
I'll always love you.
I'll always be your friend.
Don't ever say those words.
They cut deeper than you know.

That person you saw,
The one you greeted,
You looked into his eyes
Hoping to see
everything you knew.
He was not there.
Only a vague notion
Parroting the requisite words,
Without conviction.
This automaton that stomps
the tar to get from A to B,
Isn't really going anywhere.
The conversations we had
Never took place,
Just phantom dialogues.
Recall them, if you can.
I've been gone for so long.
Unable to return.

There is love in
my shadows
Tucked away,
In my dusky soul.
Resplendent
In its legend.
Written in
another
Tongue.
It's there.
Among the Ruins.

Friday night
Used to bring delight,
Revelry
Now only stings
with loneliness
You, swimming
In your lover's arms
As I break.
Let it out,
They say.
Why?
It only pours down
the drain,
Rushing like doom
Dragging me further
into darkness.
Each morning
I wake to find you gone.
Pain circling,
Hungry to feast
Upon me
Again.

It takes more strength
to live Than it does to
die. It takes more heart
to smile Than it does to
cry. The easy road is
crooked The fruitful
path is long. It's cold
out in the world when
you don't belong. The
cruel word hits harder
The kinder word is
weak. Shut your mouth
and listen You don't
have to speak. Forget me
now it's easy Love is letting
go. Goodbye dear, don't
worry I'll never let it show.

and in that moment
Your true nature
was revealed.
The looks that didn't matter
Now obvious,
Unforgiving.

Let me show you —
Just how ugly I can be.

I wish
I found it easy
To cut my losses
Instead of my wrists.

I have no fear of death.
            no heart to break.
            nothing to spoil.
            no love to fake.
There are no repercussions.
      I have nothing to lose.
              
                                   I should be free.

Before you
I was never weak.
Before you
I was never alone.
Before you
I was never loveless.
Before you
I was never loved.
Before you
I had no purpose.
Before you
I had no need.
Before you
I had so little.
Before you
I never knew.
Without you.
Without —
You.
...
I just have no ******* idea how to carry on.

Is it worse
to hope or
know that
hope is hopeless?

To give away love,
Is like letting blood.
Drop by drop
An ocean is formed.
Tho I will not remain,
To gaze
upon
the waves.