Crossroads that crisscross my mind
they say, "find the right way"
but I'm stuck where they left me.
Without a notion of
North, South, East or West.
No compass
to tell me which way best.
I want to go in every direction,
wander into new wonders,
but that's not allowed.
I want to shout out loud
for someone to set me straight,
save me from choice and regret,
but I'd only strain my voice
and remain at the crossroads.
I must be in Purgatory.
So I wonder
which way to Heaven
and which way to Hell.
Not that it would matter.
As either
must be better than this limbo.
This nothingness.
It's worthless.
Meaningless,
until I take that first step.
Dust of the cobwebs.
Feel a gust of wind,
ebb and flow.
And begin.

Let us play today
It’s all about You and Me
Scented candles burn

Tease me like you do
A sweet agony endured
Minds devoid of Sense

Toys all meant for play
Fantasies will come to Life
Sighs will linger here.

Fetishes will rule
Inhibitions find no place
Among these ruins.


-by Mercurychyld
Copyrights

Organizing his school bag,
my son found a
Mother’s day card
he forgot to give me.

He apologized and
handed it to me
with a look of
pride and love
in his eyes.

I hugged him,
while struggling
so my own eyes
wouldn’t water over.

I walked back to
my room, and sat
next to my husband;
another loving soul,
and suddenly
it hit me
like a freight train...

an Epiphany.
In a matter of seconds
it all flashed
before me,
mere seconds,
that told me
SO much.

I realized that
how I was raised,
growing up in a
constant state of
fear and quiet rage,
I was led to believe
I wasn’t special
or worthwhile.

MY thoughts
and feelings
had no meaning
or place,
to anyone.

Family,
Love,
Acceptance,
Self love
and Peace...
all ripped
from me.

Believing the Lies
that I would never
be or accomplish anything;
would NEVER be good
enough;
was WRONG for just
being...Me.
I lived only a half life.

Existing,
but never LIVING.

I longed for all
the things I never had;
all those beautiful
vocabulary words
and adjectives
I never understood.
Nothing tangible,
but more
immeasurable
and abstract.

Now, as I looked around,
I saw what I had,
and it scared and
unnerved me,
yet made my eyes
glisten with tears
of realization.

Realization
that I now had
my ‘Family’
who ‘Accepted’
everything about me,
and seemed to
‘Love’ me,
unconditionally.

What do you do
with that?
How do you deal?

I don’t have
a perfect or age-old
wise answer.

All I can say is,
that door which was
slammed shut
and locked in my
early life,
was now wide open,
and Love
walked through,
finally.

Maybe this time
it’s here
to stay.


-by Mercurychyld
Copyrights