nadine

nadine Sep 2017

eyes so deep and blue as though the sky in a humid morning
eyes so deep and blue as though the vast ocean, scary yet calming
so deep, i'd dive in the universe they hold
so blue, it colored my monochromatic world

random
nadine x

#maybe #im #talking #about #contacts #idk #world

nadine Sep 2017

Fatal Silence

pile of unpleasant thoughts and words blasting through my ears
silent cries were the reason why my sky is still clear
been eating thorns through the years
from all the flowers this mouth spit
when it should be nothing but brier
i've been drowning in cold water
but i still give warm smile to others
been trying to silence the screaming pain
but being broken inside is something i couldn't really feign.

deafening silence.
this has been,
nadine

nadine Sep 2017

sweetest dreams

sweetest dream

i always see your eyes at night,
in the dark, they shine so bright
when your gaze landed softly on mine
your twinkling eyes found my dreamy eyes screaming my desiresㅡ screaming you.
It was a sign.

the fire of our lamps was so close to ignite
you were so close,
but it doesn't feel right.
and then i blinked twice. thrice.
and almost thousands of times.
nothing has changed.
only the stars have welcomed my sight.
suddenly, a bitter smile was painted on my face,
it was right afterall.

in reality, you're a star.
you were close enough for me to see you glow
but not close enough for me to see upclose.
in my dreams, you are real.
for you are all the good dreams
my reality couldn't bear to hold.

maybe this was for my kpop boy
this has been
nadine.

nadine Sep 2017

I Have Never Loved

i have never loved someone so real and sincere as much as this heart of mine beats for you with no fear, a knight ready to cross our frontier
brick by brick, i break
step by step, i fall
but my knees refuse to wobble
for my love's sake
i have never loved someone so hard and foolish as much as i love you that i could pick up your shards. i am scarred, but my wounds will vanish, for sure
body covered with steel, love is the only sword to wield
a battle where i can't just standstill, although your ice got my knees congealed
soaked with scarlet hues, hot tears have watered the dry battlefield
my pale lips are bruised, evidence i can never conceal
but i smile.
i'm happy you're whole, even if i'm all over the floor.
i'm happy you're with someone better instead of a broken soul.
i have never loved someone so much that i could bleed all my blood, burn all my flesh and tear my heart into two, just so i could give you the constellatons you deserve, and not a dead star who gave all her shine for you.

i can fight for your happiness, but sadly not for what i feel. i wish i have won the battle.

this has been
nadine

nadine Sep 2017

I'm Beautiful, Aren't I?

My eyes always see the floor when I walk by
But my ears can still hear the mocking laughs
Fingers pointing at me
As though knives stabbing me repeatedly
Splitting my heart into halves
I still look in the mirror that doesn't lie
They have eyes, nose, lips, and everything
And so do I
Now, what's wrong with this face of mine?
The acne, freckles, pores, scars, and whatnot?
People can have it, who says they cannot?
"Too slim, too fat"
I am me, can't society accept that?
I asked the mirror that doesn't lie,
"I'm beautiful, aren't I?"

f u ck so c i e ty
this has been
nadine

nadine Sep 2017

thoughts

at the end of the day
you still matter
to me
a lot
but i wonder
my love
do i even have
just a small
space
in your
heart?

uhmmm a shortie
nadine x

#thoughts #short #idk #hehe #tags #are #fun

nadine Aug 2017

home

HOME

pain.
out of all the words existing in this planet
four letters combined from the alphabet
my mouth could easily say
knows every corner of my soul.

you aim at me your deadliest bullet
and shoot it straight to my most fragile and vulnerable part
until i'm totally scarred, for life.

you just won't let go of my heart, even if it's all torn apart. you said i was your home.

and i was scared.... yet happy.
scared because somehow, i almost believed that maybe you were home, too. the feeling that's making my heart ache, all the tears i've shed, the words left unsaid; they all define home. which is clearly not.

but at the same time happy because, finally, regardless of how broken i am, someone accepted me. even just for a short minute, in the middle of my chaos, i may not have found peace and hope, but i found home.

this has been
nadine