I woke up to this rainy April day.
Thought I'd hear the birds chirping, but all I hear is rain.

I try to roll out of bed, but I feel so drained.
Why oh why am I in so much pain.

My dogs barking at these men they are fixing our stove, but yet I still feel blank and kinda cold.

Today is just like any other day because of this dreary dark rain.

It keeps me in my depressive state.
When can I have a clean slate?

I'm laying on the couch not wanting to shower. The rain falls as time passes by the hour.

I make breakfast and decide to clean, but then something inside me stops me.

Could this rain not want me to break free? Could all this pain just be inside controlling me?

I'm losing my control of things I need something to change. But I can't do anything because of this lousy rain.

I finally get myself into the shower the rain pours and maybe just maybe will bring me May showers.

I do myself enjoy flowers, but as of now the rain falls and all my petals come off faster and faster by the hour.

While in the shower I feel the warmth cleanse me, but I do not feel all that clean.

The anxiety, depression and mood swings like to daunt me. Like a hopeless child everything seems to taunt me.

When when will I be fully happy?

This endless cycle like the rain in April you'd think would put one at ease. Oh unfortunately not for me.

Steadily I break and lose all my leaves like the giving tree.

But unlike the tree I have been given such grief. Will my chaotic mind ever set me free? Will it ever let me be me?

Will the depression disappear? Will this anxiety finally stop running through me like a tease? **** these god awful mood swings.

I need to find myself some inner peace. Maybe once the sun is near I'll light up, glow and cheer joyfully.

But will that actually make me satisfied and happy?

Will I get rid of the depression and anxiety? Will my mood swings tilt and shift or unravel inside of me? Will I ever be fulfilled and find happiness?

Will the pictures on the walls of my house look like art and less of a mess? These feelings have always found their way inside me controlling my stress.

Will these showers ever pass or when they eventually pass still have me feeling like this will always last?

I feel a breeze the rainy draft.
A gloomy April none the less.

When May comes will I still be feeling any of this?

But I guess for now as the rain falls down in April I wait for May to hopefully find myself again. Peaceful.