Here I was at a crossroads,

Four directions to move towards,

But four directions I wanted to move back from,

Should I?

Shall I?

I had dreams back black clouds loomed over them,

Failure seemed to be advancing towards me,

Like a bull,

I held the red rag,

I stood in my own way,

I was bringing myself down,

I had to try to move out of the way of the angry bull,

Charging down where I stood,

So I chose an option at the crossroads,

So I could live,

Survive,

But most importantly just so I could try.

I give it for free it doesn't cost me,
I give a smile,
I give a listening ear,
I hear other people's fears
I give some caring,
I share some learning,
It doesn't cost me,
I gain,
I build up my knowledge,
My understanding,
I plus,
I don't minus,
When I give for free,
Whats on offer,
I find there is more to gain.

I lost the losers,

I healed from those bruisers,

I outran those pursuers,

I won you,

I dodged the bad luck,

I jumped over the hurdles,

I smashed through those barriers,

I won you,

I turned my back on those who turned from me,

I stepped up to my attackers,

Looked into the eyes of my abusers,

I won you,

I lost myself in drugs and alcohol,

I cried through my tears,

I sobered myself,

I have been clean for some years,

I won you,

I laughed at bad jokes,

Avoided the smoke,

I treated myself better,

I won you.

If love is a game,

I played it

If love was,

To find fame,

I became famous,

If love is a gift,

I gave it,

If love is something to give a miss,

I miss it,

If love is an embrace,

Let me stay held within it,

If love is in you,

Then love is in me too.

You're upon my cloud,

It isn't allowed,

So walk of my cloud nine,

Seek what you cannot find,

Wine and dine,

How divine to be,

A seeker,

But never rest upon my clouded dreams.

I said I am a sinner,

He assumed I said I was a singer,

But no I am a sinner,

I fell into your eyes,

I folded into your arms,

I looked up into the stars and dreamed,

He can't tell where he ended,

Or where I began it seems,

He said we are two pieces of material,

Sewn seam to seam,

I said I can't help but agree,

I told him I was a sinner,

But he didn't hear me,

I told him I never murdered anybody,

I have only wanted enough cash to live,

I never envied my best friend,

Even when she did,

I only ever stole when I was a child,

And returned it right then and there,

I am not boastful,

I am a giver,

But I take sometimes,

Here or there,

Then he said why are you sinful?

And I told him because I wanted to love him,

He admitted clearly to me,

He felt the same,

And we should be married at once.

My Mr,

I am his Miss,

I like it when he gives me a kiss,

My Miss,

I am her Mr,

I like it when she is a giver,

We seem to be just divine,

Hopefulness is so entwined,

My Mr,

I am his Miss,

I like it when he picks up his dish,

My Miss,

I am her Mr,

I like it when I go and fish.

If I could do it over would I?

If I could take back each conversation we shared,

Every stare.

Every glare,

Would I?

If I take back every kiss,

Would I?

Every embrace should I?

I wouldn't rewind a moment,

I wouldn't undo a stitch,

Because I give this everything I had to gave,

And don't wish to take back any of it.

How I wished to count your fingers,

Your tiny toes,

How I wished to kiss your darling little nose,

How I wish to breathe in your scent,

You beautiful little child,

A God sent,

How I wish to whisper your name,

Your fingers round mine,

How I wished to tickle your feet,

And hear your laughter,

How divine.

Dear baby,

I wondered if the strands of your hair would be black or brown,

How when your locks fell out they would be scattered upon the ground like confetti,

How I wish I knew,

If your hair would be curly or straight,

I wish I knew if it was soft, delicate and scented of you.

Would your eyes be blue like your Dads eyes?

Or would they be brown like my eyes?

Oh, how I wished I could have seen you with my eyes,

How I wished you opened your eyes in my arms cradling you.

Dear baby,

I only knew you existed because there were two lines on a stick,

I loved you already,

I wanted you here,

But we would both wait,

Excited to announce you to anyone,

You are the life growing inside me,

Your Dad was so happy,

So speechless,

But you were not meant to be,

You died inside me,

An empty place in my stomach where you should be,

A space inside my heart where you will always live,

Within me,

Dear baby,

I love you,

Mummy loves you,

Daddy loves you too,

Rest your life,

Up in the sky,

My angel goodbye.

You were a genius,
How you helped me fall apart,
You were amazing,
How you left me in the dark,
Well I made art with those broken pieces,
I made a master piece,
It's got cracks and flaws,
But it is stunning,
Just so magical,
How you can ruin me and how I transformed myself.

I can use tools to build,
I can use yarn to crochet,
I can use ingredients to cook,
I can use paint to show,
I can use words to express.

I lost somebody,
I lose somebody,
Every time in my mind,
I see them there,
I go back to rewind to that time,
To see them.

I know I've sinned,
But I know he forgives me,
I know I've let down,
But I know he will lead me,
I know I've been blinded by my own desires,
But I know he knows what those desires are and is at work in my heart,
I know I've been tempted,
But he led me away from temptation back towards trust,
I know I have not forgiven those who harmed me,
But today is a new day so I can forgive, and try again to do better under the sunlight of his brand new day.

We are going to,
Cause who knows why,
Should just try,
Don't want to die,
The look in your eyes makes me feel like we should try.

I don't know what to do in times of crises,
I couldn't hold a hose for the raging bushfire,
I am not in a lab seeking for a cure,
But I know that I can give where I can,
A kind word,
Or a lending hand,
I can give a few dollars to those that need cents,
I can try to do what I can,
So that's what I will try to do then I'll give in anyway that I can.

I gave my last breath,
Whirling through a galaxy,
You didn't hear me protest cause I gave my best,
Just to see the galaxy.

You could tell she was trying hard,
Which girl doesn't try to mould their own skin to fit in?
You could tell she was trying to impress,
But as someone who knew better, I should have told her to rest,
But she was trying to hard to make it,
She was going all the way to fake it,
And I could tell,
She wore the sheepish smile,
But I knew this act so well,
She was like me,
I am like her,
She was a miss that just didn't fit,
No matter her effort,
She wasn't going to fit,
Cause neither did I,
And as I watched her try I knew why I gave up,
Cause I was a misfit and I had it tough.

A place of love and laughter,
Of smells of food,
And tummies full,
With delicious pasta meals,
Memories that feel so distant,
I really wish I was back in Nonna's kitchen.

The teacups are out,
The biscuit jar is open,
The trolley is full to push down the hallway,
Into the lounge room,
To sit together and spend some time,
I really liked my Nanna's kitchen,
Reminds me of them happy times.

I caught the infection,
Didn't think I could,
Suppose rejection isn't something to be taken lightly,
I suppose an infection of rejection needs a cure,
And I feel that way for sure,
I don't like to feel rejected,
On the sidelines of what's happening around me,
It feels like nobody wants to know me,
It feels like I am able to spread my infection to those who surround me,
But I do not want to reject anyone else,
I know how it feels within myself,
I want to be included,
I want to be invited,
Sick and sad of hiding away,
Rejection is an infection,
The only cure is acceptance and inclusion, its never too help someone feel included today.

If racism were a marathon,
I wouldn't be prepared for it,
The incline of hate,
And the decline of understanding,
And admit I can't outrun racism,
I won't even try it,
Cause if it is you vs me I'll fall,
Cause if is me vs you, you'll stand taller,
But if I can reunite a few,
Who have experienced racism too,
And tell them no hate is hate,
Don't need to fight or debate,
We can try to win this race,
As a team that has faced,
The hate of another human being,
They bullied us for our skin,
They bullied us because we don't fit in,
They bullied us and told us no,
But this time it's time for hate to go,
So no I can't outrun racism,
But I can try and take the lead,
Show this world a much better inclusive humanity,
Do you want to join this team?

It doesn't depend on your opinion of them to figure out who you are,
Yes, you are your scars,
Yes, you are the times you failed,
No, it doesn't define you,
It doesn't depend on others pointing our your past mistakes to figure out who you are now,
Because maybe you were fake back then,
Maybe you'd like to take back what you did then,
But who are you now?
What are you becoming?
Think you can do it,
Tell yourself you'll get through it,
Apologise for your failings,
Because you are not a failure now,
And this is who you are,
Better than who you were.

It's like water rushing over me,
Trying to drown me,
It's an impossible feeling,
Release me,
This cool feeling has got me reeling,
Sinking towards the bottom where I can't even scream.

Oodle doodle don't be a poodle,

Oodle doodle I'll put you in a strudel,

Ooddle doodle your on my mind,

My pen is tracing your ****** lines,

And you are so divine,

Oddle doodle like rhythm and rhyme,

The beat matches the tempo,

At which you slide.

You’re like a roadblock,

You put up walls,

You’re like a roadblock,

You think I can’t get through,

Yes you’re in my way,

Yes I fell down today,

Yes I’ll get up and lead a new direction into a new pathway,

You think you’re a roadblock,

But I’ll get around you.

Every interaction has the choice,
To go forward or to go backward,
Every smile can be taken lightly,
Or can be smiled back too,
Every word can be taken the way it was written,
Or can be taken out of context,
Everything has the possibility to get out of control,
Everything discussion has its consequences,
Every action has its own effects,
But just don't block me yet,
It's not my intention to reject,
It was not my intention to do this,
I wish we could erase the conversation start back at the start,
Don't need another number to add to my fails,
Don't need another blocked name on my list,
Don't need another contact I don't contact,
Don't want to end in a block,
But it might.

I expect something of you,
Surely there is something you could do,
Erase all my self doubt,
Just put all your feelings out,
And shout,
But no,
You would rather not,
Sitting outside when it's too hot,
You'll fry,
You would rather cook then try,
That's my only expectation of you,
That you move about and we figure all this out.

I wish I could open my eyes like I could open the curtains,
Let sunlight stream in,
Let my mind sing,
I wish I could step out and take what you put down,
You have some much to offer,
In this little town,
So I'll climb out of bed today,
And see things in new lights and new ways,
And not be the one behind the shadows,
This time,
Meet up with rhythm,
Talk to rhyme,
Choose exactly the right time,
To step out and take what you put down,
I have so much to offer,
So come now also,
And step out and take what I put down.

Trust,
It to be so,
Don't let it be the end you know,
I tried,
You tired not to trust,
While I trusted,
And that messed up what could be love between you and me,
And I rushed it,
And you crushed it,
We had it but now they are embers,
Burning our fingertips,
And we are dust,
We are completely gone over mistrust,
That wrecked this thing we called love.

We are here again,
The very place we left again,
We protested but we don't protest we met again,
So here we are again,
We could reminisce all over again.

Loved to be left
There I was again loving,
To be left behind,
There I was trying,
While they were trying to not to be mine,
I loved to be left,
As they moved forwards without me.

I want your name on my lips but I don't say it,
I want your voice in my ear,
And your text across my screen,
When we walk down the street we make quite a scene,
Everyday I want to say that I love you.

I would like you to call me,
I want to hear your voice,
Your name on my lips,
Your laughter in my ear,
So call me,
Don't be afraid,
I aren't going nowhere.

You use to wake before me,
Waking me with a text or call,
Since you left me I'm getting use to it,
Waking up on my own,
Staring at an empty phone.

I want to get familiar,
So talk to me freely,
Walk beside me so eagerly,
I want to be familiar,
You and me,
Dancing in a day dream,
Fighting of horses in my nightmare,
I don't care,
Just let's get familiar,
Your kiss to my neck,
Hearts so close to each other,
Beating for one another,
So let's get familiar,
Take my hand and let's go.

Take it,
My heart,
My hand,
I'm reaching for you,
Lie to me tell me you haven't reached for me,
Cause I reach for you,
Take it,
My heart never give it back,
My hand and never let it go,
Cause my eyes slides shut,
And it's the only time I see you,
When tears slide down my cheeks,
And I reach for you,
Now please reach for me.

If you pass me in the street you won't know me,
That is past me,
Since you left me I'm a better version of me without you,
We walk pass like two strangers,
Memories could haunt us,
Silence unspoken as I remember you,
And I did love you.

You know I did,
You gave me no reason to doubt you,
Didn't want to shut you out,
Didn't want to shout at you,
I trusted you,
But you don't trust me,
You thought I got together with your mate cause I'm to friendly,
Well he was the one trying to with me,
He's your mate,
But you don't believe me,
You believe him,
You trust him and not me.

I am not over it,
They say I am,
If anyone can I can,
They say I need to stop sitting,
And start seeing those around me,
But before the next heartbreak,
Gonna learn from my last mistake,
Cause I'm on the ground,
Where he left me,
And before the next one comes around,
Trying to get me to my feet to stand me upon this ground.

He wore jeans,
The most bluest ones you've ever seen,
He is a jeanius,
He was so smart,
He could have you with one touch,
Or a beat of his heart,
His eyes were swimming,
His brain much the same,
With thoughts of how he can change up the game,
Grant me three wishes,
Oh jeanius one,
And out he comes shirtless,
But of course wearing jeans,
He wants you to choose him,
And he'll make you weak at the knees,
He will await your reply,
He wants you to give your wishes away,
And run of with him today,
Cause he is a jeanius who lives in a lamp,
Come and join him,
And take up a romantic dance.

#poem #poetry #poet #mjroco

Modern Day

It is a modern day,

A kind of different age,

Things pass us by,

We give up, don't try,

Its the modern way.

I want you fully,
Don't give me half of your heart,
I want you fully,
Don't give me half of your dreams,
I want you fully,
Don't give me half of your fears,
I want you fully,
Don't give me half of your life,
I want you fully.

#poem #poetry #poet #mjroco

Deep, deep in blue water,
He told her, he loved her,
He swam many oceans,
And he had found her,
He sealed the deal with a wet sloppy kiss,
And the swam many oceans in search of fish.

#poem #poetry #poet #mjroco

Look in his eyes,
They are blue like the sky,
His skin as white as a cloud,
He speaks so aloud,
He has a grin,
And he can be a tease,
And he does what he pleases,
Look in his eyes,
He's drawing you in,
He reaches to touch your skin,
His eyes speak,
But his mouth doesn't move,
So look in his eyes,
And see his slight smile,
Sit and stay with him like this for awhile.