I still miss you
when it’s 3PM and I am in the middle of doing my paperworks.
I still miss you
even though we are just sitting right beside each other.
I still miss you
everytime I see you puff those sticks of cigarette.
I still miss you
when my soul keeps silence
of loud thoughts of you.
I still miss the danger and safety
you make me feel.
I still miss you,
and I guess I am still madly in love with you.

I still miss you,
even at 3PM.

Let’s talk about our fears.
Our nightmares that haunt us even at daylight
The fear of unreciprocated love
Of our mothers bearing our pain
Of the flames that turned into something that burn us
The fear of not being able to write,
That even poetry has become weary of us.
Of feeling the caffeine stuck in your soul
Those monsters that visit us,
Those we wouldn’t even welcome.

Of even recognizing our fears.

Trace my back
Wake me up when the nightmare
comes to visit.
Kiss me to sleep,
hum and let me hear you’re there.
Hold me for a while
until I feel safe and calm again.
I am scared and only your lips could appease me.

We sang drunk
Our hearts, faster as they were
We sang, we were drunk
Driveway, night, it’s been a while.
We were aware of the danger

You stopped,
I looked back
You kissed me

We sang, we were drunk
But we knew our love never left

I pulled you, closer than ever
I felt your breath, warm and mellow

We were drunk
But we both know it is our love
That never left

We sang, we were drunk
You whispered “Still you.”

We were drunk, we love.

You vomitted
You were more drunk than yesterday
You laughed, I smiled
I miss that
I miss you
You kissed me
It felt right, it felt first
I wanted to hold you
For just long enough
“I love you”, I whispered
And this, I hope will be gone by morning
But I’ll let myself love you once more

I’ll let myself feel again.