my mind is like an empty canvas
unsure and afraid…
that the colors might ruin
the picture of you,
of you and you,
i have in memory.

should i or should i not?
what is it that i forgot—
the words have rolled out of my tongue
yet on the paper found none;
the pen has dried its ink,
but i couldn’t find you
between the words,
the lines,
the spaces.

i do not know
if it is you that has fled
or me,
whose memories of you
i tried hard to keep
but nonetheless,
eventually forget;
even words have failed
to make me remember you.

It was a Sunday afternoon when I thought I had you. I thought I had you with the words you had hidden away from the palms of your hand. I thought I had you when you said that you'll always have me here. I thought I had you. But I forgot to remember the words you've said days before.

I forgot to remember that you can't save me from drowning. I forgot to remember that you will always be so near yet so far. I forgot to remember those lingering, unsaid thoughts from you; that you will always be on the shore, beaches far away from my sinking heart. I forgot to remember again. And there's this certainty that I'd still forget.

Perhaps forgetting you was always too hard for me.
No, forgetting to forget you can always just be a thing I can never do.

it was pulling me in,
suffocating me,
caging me,
swallowing me,
destroying me.

the shards of solitary slowly pierced my soul,
the torment comforting me, caressing me.
if my hollowness was deliberately engulfing me
the way you let me drown in an ocean full of uncertainty
then i guess kissing death's chapped lips would make me feel the sense of being alive.

"have you been thinking of me? luna?"
                                                          ­                                     "have you?"
"you never left my mind."
                                                          ­                                     "i want to.
                                                             ­                                    see you."

                                                          ­                           "but you're halfway
                                                                ­                 across the universe,
                                                       ­                          yet my heart longs for
                                                             ­                      the light you bring."  

"i want to.
hold you."

"if only.
if only space would let me
stay with you for a little
longer."

                                                ­                                "i wear your light. and
                                                                ­             that's the same as having
                                                          ­                   you beside me."

it has been a long time since the last time my eyes had been used to the band of light stretching over the vast horizon. bleached sun rays blocking my cornea as your hand reached over my waist.

we danced underneath the skies painted grey- a canvass in monotone and greyscale. yet beneath this mixture of melancholy and nostalgia were two breathing souls, intertwined by darkness and sunshine.

i met you between freezing winter and blooming spring.
i met you beneath the skies of grey and blue.
i met you as the stars and the universe hovered above us.
i met you through thick and thin.

i met you when rainbows don't appear anymore after the rain.
i met you when hope seems to be obsolete.
i met you when i was the cold and you were the warm.
i met you between overrated songs, and infamous movies.

i met you in between the line separating whichever things are to be sorted.

we were never supposed to meet.
like parallel lines destined to be alone. forever.

yet how come two lost souls would eventually find their way home in each other's arms? how come two ill-fated lovers crossed the borders when the conspiring universe are against them?

how come i've met you
but you've never met me?

in such a way that i know you wouldn't look at an abstract painting unless you understand it.

because why would someone try to see through a person so convoluted? someone so difficult to understand even though things seem to be pretty simple if you would only look at the other sides?

you told me i was a complex, pretty thing. someone interesting, yet difficult to solve. maybe i am. maybe i was. maybe i weren't. maybe i am not.

yet beneath the grey-stained skies, sunshine was seeping through--a sliver of hope creeping its way inside me as you held me in your arms, dancing below the invisible sun beams i like to think of whenever i'm with you.

because to me; you are the sunshine over my grey-stained world.