I inhale absence
I'm slowly dying from all the nothing I inhale
The lack of your hand in mine, it's killing me
I lie in fetal helplessness
Caving in on myself, becoming smaller
Becoming absence

I know I’ll get in trouble
For drawing on the wall,
But this crayon-marker masterpiece
Is my greatest work of all.

If I put my thoughts on paper
For some temporary praise,
They’ll be stuck up on the fridge
And then be gone in several days.

But walls are a sturdy canvas
To scrawl my fervent feelings.
As I sketch and stretch and scribble,
One day, I’ll reach the ceilings.

How many times do I have to say “I’m sorry”
Before you stop looking at me like that?
I ask you if you’re even listening to me
While you pick at something on your placemat.

You couldn’t be bothered to ask about my day,
Never mind that I don’t ask about yours.
I’ll lose my nerve and twist your words in every way
Before I try to settle all our scores.

I hope to break the painful silence by saying,
“We shouldn’t let this dinner go to waste.”
You look away, like you don’t plan on staying,
And it fills my mouth with a lonely taste.

Tender lover,
Send my friendly vitriol to the devils in you,
As they often possess your fists and bid me welcome.
Your love, and I am tenderized.

I will savor the kiss between your teeth.

I have made myself a box.
You can try and find the key,
But I won’t let you open me.
I am safe behind the locks.

I have made myself a stone.
You will never make me break,
No matter what offense I take.
I am strongest on my own.

I have made myself a knife.
If you want my heart, take heed,
Push too hard and you will bleed.
I am fighting for my life.