~

There will come a time when you say, "no more,
this weight is much too heavy to bear,
these thoughts of you dancing through my mind are now painful
and seeing that far ahead is nothing more than a blur"

There will come a time when you say, "it’s over,
I do love you more than anything but I can not any longer,
you will always reside deep in my heart
though telling you will not be an option"

There will come a time when you say, "good bye,
I wish I didn’t have to leave but I must,
I will not look back even though I want to
because this hurts so badly"

There will come a time when I say "I understand",
and that will be the time that I don’t

the body
lies
on the bed
you helped build
staring at the ceiling
mouthing lyrics
to a song on repeat
i can lay here all night
i'd have no problem with it
and sing the same words
until they fell from my teeth
hitting the floor
as softly as they came

I build up these walls around you
Securing my feelings and reasons
But once I see you, my true feelings show through
And I thought that I was in a new season

Brick by brick, I build up and up
My wall of avoidance is unbreakable
But your presence and voice give me no choice
To reveal my heart, unmistakable

When you address me at all, my sturdy, strong wall
Obliterates into crumble and ashes
My hearts skips its beats, I look at my feet
And time seems like it never passes

Why the **** do I love you? It crazy; absurd.
Is it the way you are so out of my reach?
I stumble and tumble around you in fumbles
Without you seeming to know the secrets I keep

You can't see me treading these waters
With a shark just looming below
I swam and I swum, but when I got done
I realized that you'll never know

I'd want you to save me from this hell
I'm sure that after I'd be just fine
But when I look around, I've finally found
The blame for this hell is mine

1
Well, I've dated a few guys, sure -
you know, being Ms Hyphen
I'm sociable, like to bring people together
that sort of thing
So I dated that guy Exclamation Mark
and what the hell, he was shouting all the time!
He's just too excitable, not my type

Sure, Comma was more sedate
but a little too slow for me, you know
So I gave guys like Inverted Commas and Parenthesis
a try - but hell, they were always trying to frame me
So I like said to myself, maybe I'll try someone else
from the Mark family, and woooh! - this guy
was like questioning me all through dinner
and I was like thinking to myself:
What's with this guy? Where does he work?
At the NSA or FBI or what?
I guess you know who I'm talking about

Well, I dated all the other guys too
like Semi-Colon and then Colon
but you know, one liked to separate;
and the other was always out
with his smartphone
listing things I said

2
So I nearly gave up dating when I thought -
Hey what about Dash?
That's a dashing fellow surely
and he seems to be just like me
(except he is - as is apt for a guy - long)
but he was just like Semi-Colon -
always separating people
You got to bring people together
in this world, you know;
that's what this world needs

Yes, I dated Full Stop too
but he was always getting me to stop
and besides, he said his alias was Period -
now that freaked me out, you know
Hey, what kind of guy walks around
with a name like Period?

I'll tell you like who's the worst guy to date, OK -
that's Apostrophe:
O listen darling, was he ever so possessive!

3
Well, I'll give my dating career a break -
maybe come next year,
I might try dating 2nd of February

The woman did all the laundry,
Forgot to empty the pockets.
See all the bank notes blowing in the breeze.
A spot of money laundering but not illegally.
(c) Livvi

I never asked for perfect,
I only wanted
equally flawed.

Yet again
I feel confused
sworling in a storm of emotion
lost
directionless
defineing myself  by what others need me to be
What do i want to do in life?
i dont know, but ill stick with writing for now
im never my self
im scared
i need help
someone help me

If people were rain…
Then I must be drizzle,
And you…
A hurricane.
It’s the way people present themselves,
A first impression.
You came in and left destruction in your wake.
Destruction was everywhere… in everyone.
Including me.
You were one of those hurricanes that they named… although the name, I never heard.
Funny, because no one else saw, heard, or felt the effects of you like I did.
I was the sole survivor….
And the only one who experienced the hell you brought forth.
Me, being the drizzle… I came, and then left.
I only lasted for a couple of minutes.
Some days I think about what the world would be like if you hadn’t come as a hurricane.
If you hadn’t destroyed every ounce of my self-confidence… self-determination...
If you came as a monsoon, or a tsunami… both similar, yet with different lasting effects.
Instead you chose a severe storm, a high wind.
The effects on me, you never bother to figure out, because you’re too busy being unhappy yourself.
You see me, right? I moved on.
So why can’t you?