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 May 2020 Max Neumann
Prabesh
The clock ticks are getting louder
Silence disturbs me more than anything
Almost six and I only think about her
And that lullaby only she could sing

How can I sleep on these wet pillows?
Memories were supposed to heal the aches
The never ending fire from your innocent bellows
PAIN is the only term for the sound it makes
Pain will leave you once it has finished teachings its lesson
 May 2020 Max Neumann
Emilia B
Worrying mannerisms
As she sits in her chair
Talking to herself
Unable to look in the mirror
As she is afraid she’ll maul her own skin off it’s flesh
She just wants to be happy
Feel normal and laugh
But she struggles to express
Even love.
it makes her cry
The wall just won’t budge
 May 2020 Max Neumann
Pagan Paul
.
On the old porch outside her room
she sits a'spinning on her loom,
weaving memories of times long gone,
gently singing a Native song.
Of rivers running on the plains
swollen from the mountain rains,
of the deserts endless sands,
and of toil with calloused hands.
She sang of buffalo and of bear,
of a paradise for all to share,
she also sang of the forests deep
and of where wolves go to sleep.
Her song dies away like a friend
when her spinning is at its end.
The Great Mother retires in silent gloom
and snuffs out the candles in her room.
Thus stilling the night of a Woman's Moon.



© Pagan Paul (28/01/19)
.
I cry for things I might have done
And who I might have been.

I cry for opportunities missed
And enterprise that failed.

I cry for hands I might have held
That somehow I let slip away.

I cry beause the time is short
With so much treasure left unfound.

I cry because it’s the only thing
That’s somehow left for me to do.
                  ljm
A good cry is sometimes very theraputic.
Years of knowing I wasn’t wanted
Have poisoned the tenderest
Portions of my soul.

Butterflies have become moths
And the music is always out of tune.

The sunset is an ugly smear
And sunrise holds no promise.

Flowers do not yield perfume
And all the birds are Ravens.

Words that used to comfort me
Now echo back in hateful tones

I tell myself there is a light
And try hard to believe it.

But it’s illusive and it fades
Each time I think I see it.

Wanting to be wanted
Turns out to be a foolish game.

How can anybody want me
When I don’t even want myself.
ljm
I wrote this during the last weeks of my former job.  Several of the men who ran the place   decided I wasn't either a male or a Korean, and therefore needed to be harassed into quitting.  It didn't work.  I toughed it out until they finally closded the whole department so they could get rid of me without being sued.  I sued them anyway and won for back overtime.  Not a lot, but enough to send my message.  There are more Koreans living in L.A. than there are living in Seoul, Korea.  And most are lovely people.
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