Max - Hello Poetry

Max Feb 2019

In my past life I was a Slow Loris.

The voice is like a chorus.

The slow loris is nocturnal like mice.

I dont sleep at night so I can study, which is nice.

Slow Lorises are also slow walkers

Like me, they aren't slow talkers.

We have a lot in common,

Which isnt forgotten.

I was a Slow Loris in my past life.

I had to write this for my English class, sorry. Its cringey. Also hello, I'm not dead or anything I just havent been able to post anything lately cuz I had to do a lot of FRQ's.

#animals #inmypastlife

Max Nov 2018

Dysphoria #2

Dysphoria is like a flood,
Sometimes it makes you shed blood.

It hits you suddenly like a wave,
Sometimes, it puts you in a grave..

#dysphoria #selfharm #suicide #imwatchingjimmykimmelliverightnow

Max Nov 2018

Dysphoria

When I look in the mirror,
What do I see?
I see a 'girl' i see everything I'm not.

Wearing dresses to concerts
And makeup to parties
Why can't I wear a suit?

Being eloquent and fancy
"Dont mess up your hair!"
Why can't my hair be shorter?

Nails manicured to perfection
Painted a hot pink
Why can't they be painted blue..?

Its like tar
Sinking into my stomach
I can feel it weighing me down

I cant speak, I can't tell.
I can't get help for no one knows
How do I get rid of it..?

I grip my hair with both hands and pull
I can f e e l it tearing
I can f e e l my head bleeding
But i dont care because at least my hair is shorter, and at least some pressure is gone.

I paint with the silver and watch as my canvas turns red.
I make sure it goes across the stream and not with the flow..
I make sure to clear up afterwards.

"Why cant you be normal?"
"What's with the weird attitude"
"Its just a p h a s e"

I run home crying after school.
Its only 3pm
My parents get home at 5 pm

I go to the bathroom and grab my mom's medications.

I grab the silver, sharp-edged paintbrush.

I grab my journel and start to tell my story..

By the time my parents got home..

Their son was too far gone.

Hi its been a while since I posted a poem.. Sorry about that..

#dysphoria #transgender #suicide #depression #ignorantparents

Max Jul 2018

If...

If the tears in my eyes aren't enough
To tell you to stop talking
Maybe you should look at my arms
And then tell me it was a joke

If you hated me that much
You should've told me sooner
I wouldn't feel this empty
And I wouldn't have this ache

If you hated my complexion
You could've helped me change
You could've saved me before I fell
Before i sunk deeper into depression

If you hated seeing me in public
You couldve told me, and I wouldn't have gone
You could've saved me before i cut deeper
Before I sunk into death's awaiting arms..

I a m f i n e

#suicide #selfharm #cheating

Max Jun 2018

Numb

I woke up with a friGht
the darkness was starting tO bite
I wanted tO turn on a light
But I was too scareD of the night

As I lied in Bed trying to sleep
Im getting sleepY but I start to weep
Thinking of the day's kEep
It was like failing at a leap

Max Jun 2018

Negativity

The marks that line my arm
Were done in the topic of harm.
The lines that cover my wrists
Are kinda like long lists.
The wounds I draw on my skin
Are there to remind me I do not fit in.
Society is cruel to us.
Sometimes I wish to get hit by a bus.
But then the light flows
And the wind blows
And my idle remind me
That I am not a bee.
That I am not alone
And that he does not condone
People like me harming ourselves
Because we are not someone's elves.
And we can take a stand
And make a band
Of people against this negativity

#bullying #selfharm #depressed #suicidal

Max Jun 2018

Today is not a good day

Today is not a good day
I just don't feel okay
This vessel I'm in
Doesn't feel like my skin
I don't feel boyish
I don't feel girlish
I dont feel neither
And I don't feel both
I hate this day
Because I don't know what to wear today
Whatever I wear won't look good
And laugh, all my friends would
Laugh because they don't know
They don't know of my woe
And that's why today is not a good day.

#gender #dysphoria