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Mateusz Szot Feb 15
Him
I see your eyes,
Gaze to his,
The way yours,
Would draw their way to mine.
Nervously flirting,
Laughing and smiling,
The way we used to be,
Do you see me in him?
I want to let go,
You want me to leave.
I long for you,
I need you near.
Moving on and forgetting,
I was the first,
To kiss your scars,
To accept your flaws,
To hold your face,
While your tears drowned my mind.
I miss you so much,
Forcing myself into habits to let go,
Picturing our future,
My face plastered,
With the image of him.
I wish you well,
I wish he treats you the way I did.
I hope you see in him what you never saw in me.
I hope you feel at ease with him.
I’m sorry i was too much.
I love you still.
Mateusz Szot Feb 15
“Is it possible to love someone too much?”
I ask, choking on my words,
the question refusing to leave my throat.
I look up to your pretty blue eyes,
Reflecting my tears through them.
You look beautiful,
The answer falls from your tongue,
A hesitant, yet sure,
“Of course not.”
My heart skips a beat,
Aware of the hesitation,
I fight my mind.
My heart pulling towards yours,
Like our veins, connected by some way.
I want to believe you,
I want to trust you,
But my mind feels like it has travelled,
Months ahead of time,
Shivering down my body,
With lies you pulled from your teeth.
Your heart, lies warm and full,
Hiding behind your ***** dungeon.
My heart lies cold, of what’s left,
Begging for you back,
Begging for my heart back,
Carrying my fragmented heart on your back,
Like a trophy earned, stolen.
I could never blame you.
Keeping to myself,
Scared to give in to temptation,
I fear the thought of love.
“Was I too much?”
I stutter, forcefully,
“Maybe a little.”
Escaped from your mouth.
Swallowing my teeth,
Was easier than swallowing the thought,
Of letting go.
Mateusz Szot Feb 14
I miss sitting in my room,
Carefully wrapping your favourite flowers,
In a bouquet I made, just for you.
Going back to that shop,
Where you picked out your favourite chocolates,
Buying them for you without your knowledge.
Neatly spilling my heart onto a card I wrote for you.
Erasing the blood I smudged across the title.
Signing my name with the hand you once held.
I drown in the memory,
Allowing it to consume me.

I sit staring at my ceiling,
Carefully wrapping my thoughts,
In my minds walls.
Going back to that bench,
Where you told me all about yourself,
Falling in love with you, without your knowledge.
Begging the night hears my cries,
Painting myself with red-stained ink,
I plead for your heart,
To love me the way you did.

Happy Valentine's Day.
Mateusz Szot Feb 10
Consumed by your beg,
of being held close,
my arms out and open,
I promise you the most.
You pray for the love,
from bodies you see,
I’m hiding in shadows,
please come to me.

I drown in limerence,
and plead for your heart,
a fragmented augment,
we feel so apart.
The sun glistens down,
on your sunflower skin,
I fell for your soul,
and intelligence within.

I hear your desperation,
the longing you hold,
i sit and observe,
the warmth you behold.
Behind glass-stained windows,
and cinnamon-filled scents,
I distance myself from you,
with the best of intents.
Mateusz Szot Feb 10
My reflection glistens,
in the hard-edged mirror,
No one listens,
when i mention the scissor.
The tip of the sword,
meets my skin,
not a single word,
replenishes the sin.
Drowning in tears,
my heart sinks low,
with blood red fears,
my heart rate, low.
Guilt lies near,
with regret and despair,
not a single thought clear,
i melt completely bare.
Mateusz Szot Feb 9
The words of your denial,
hold similar weight as your prial.

your eyes speak of disfigurement.
holding your breath,
drowning in a purge of repungnance.
The bitterness of your mind,
leaving scars deeper than you intend.
Your eyes, speaking thoughts louder,
than the whispers you spit.

On that hill,
I see you.
Watering a wilting flower,
hoping it comes back.
I trace my hands across your skin,
words of your sorrow,
seeping through your pours.

Your eyes shine, reflecting integrity.
I hold my breath, to discern your pulse,
swimming in the vibrations,
of your fragmented heart.
You smell sweet,
lavender and open book pages.
Looking to close your story,
forgetting the next chapters that lie within.
I dance in your presence,
admiration and replete,
consume my mind.
I see your scars,
kissing them softly.
Your flaws and foibles look different in my eyes.

laying my hand out,
hoping you shoulder my request,
of holding your heart,
in my cushioned hands.
Stitching your scars,
with threads of my love.
Mateusz Szot Feb 7
Yearning the living, mourning the beginning,  

I hear your voice in the songs of birds singing.  

Down alleys and paths, of black and white roads,

Your sapphire apertures, heart filled with nodes.

I sonder and wonder, at what we could be,

If love wasn’t twisted, infested with flea.

I grieve at the grave of the ghosts from our past,

Swallowed by limerence and guilt of a ghast.

My heart wrapped in thorns, from stems of your rose,  

Piercing my arteries, my eyes start to close.

Reminiscing the life we once dreamed to have,

A future all planned out, left in the past.

Your whispers still linger, in the silence of night,

My body now frozen, your eyes out of sight.
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