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Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2020
We can smile
And say we're fine
We haven't been sleeping well
We're stressed
Put on a brave face
But in the end
All we really want
Is to lay down
For a long time
No dreams
No wakeful nightmares
And rest
Until the stars fade out
And the sun grows dim
And the green grass
Falls into
The purple universe
And we don't have to be alive anymore
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2020
She never was afraid of the fire
She curled up
At his sparking
Crackling
Toes
Spoke in soft tones
And stroked the flames
Until all that was left
Was soft embers and warm skin
Yet another thing I woke up randomly and wrote in my phone before going back to sleep and forgetting about it until just now. 😂😂😂
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2020
And you could see
The heartbreak on his face
When she said to him,
"Why do you love me? I can't give you anything."
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2020
My illness is a friend of mine by my side he always stays
He hides himself from me sometimes but comes around in other ways
He's there when I feel I'm alone, but twists his fingers in my blood
Too dark and gloomy days I'm prone, he stays with me like all friends should
It's hard to say why he's my friend he makes me cry and have bad thoughts
But then on the other end, he ties my stomach up in knots.
I've lived with him for many years, he's never left me alone
And though he causes bitter tears, he wipes them when I'm done.
He hides his face from me sometimes and though I often ask
It seems my friend will never leave till he has done his task
And though at times, I wish my friend would just leave me alone
The way he shows his constancy is harsh, but all my own.
Depression, anxiety, meniers disease, fibromyalgia, all words that seem to be fighting to overtake my life. So few things in my life are constant. Friends, family, comfort, safety, but those things have stayed with me for most of my life. I hate them and I love them, I hate how hard they make my life, but I love the ability and excuse to depend on something other than myself.
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2020
I love you
Even though
My dear,
My dear
I know
It's wrong for both of us
And I'd rather hurt you
Now
Instead of doing
What we
Both of us
Want to
Only to destroy
Destroy
Each other
Down the road
Even so
I can't get you out of my head
I wish
I wish
Things
Were
Different
Different
And that we were different
People
And sometimes
I wish
All we were
Was
Passing
Strangers
On a busy street
Instead of a
Desperate
Almost
And
A hopeful
Maybe
One of my closest friends. We both have feelings for each other, it's been a month since he told me, and I can't stop thinking about him even though I know all we would do is tear apart what we already have. 😔
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2020
The misty walls
Of my shower
And cool hard glass
Of my foggy
Bathroom
Mirror
Know more secrets
From the tracing of my finger
Than I've
Ever
Said
Out
Loud.
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2020
People don't want to know
                                                 That I'm not okay
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