A plant pushed
A new leaf
Today-

Love despair
And love
And despair

Didn't realise just how much I associate some songs with you until I play it out loud and instead of singing and dancing around, I just stand there with an ache in my chest, missing you 10x more and wishing we could talk again.

I thought I was okay but moving on is such a tricky thing. Some days I'm having a good time and I don't think of you at all and some days..some days you're all I think about and I miss you. I miss your eyes and hair and voice when you call out my name and hype me up.

How you'd ask me how I'm doing and I'd tell you in great details even though my day wasn't all that productive but you'd listen anyway cause you genuinely care. How you could say anything and it's like butter sliding down a warm pancake; making me feel good and happy. So happy.

But now I'm just barely going through life, day in and day out; climbing into bed at night hoping I could see you when I fall asleep. Then waking up, reaching for my phone wishing your name would pop up. I miss you. I miss you. Don't you miss me too?

-m.b

over the jilted crest of my love
the wave and day break alike
to wash away the sleepy cries
and corner curses, which once my tongue
grabbed
and tasted as you poured,
an aching stream of prayer exits
me every time.

in haste, i am solemn,
in the dark i am desolate
for love.

longing is what best describes it. what i’m feeling
and what i’m thinking when i see you in passing.
i still regret being with you, but nothing can be done
about things that already happened.
we were full of mistakes, like you said.

none of my friends liked you. and even then, i knew
that something was wrong, and i blame it on my youth.
because there was nothing else to blame
and it was all wrong, we both realized that.

i don’t want to be with you. but your promises linger
and drift into my empty head at night.
when the sky is dark and the air is full of pollen,
when the world is quiet and the metro rumbles
down its track, into a tunnel, open like an animal’s maw.

when i was born
my mother said
it felt as if a new mathematical state had come into being
       new creature.
              new possibilities
              
when my grandfather died
my mother said
it felt the same- as she sat in that old room, his spirit slipping into a new form
       old creature
              new possibilities