Shout
Cry
Scream
But don't give up
Don't even think about it

I hate bpd with a passion
one moment I can't stop laughing
the next I am swimming in the overwhelming thoughts that fill my head
crying out an ocean full of fear and sadness
in a couple of minutes, I am back to normal

I hate that I have a favourite person
someone I base all my emotions upon
I am aware it is not fair for them
having to be there for me all the time
or else I crumble
I don't want to be dependent on one person
but how do I stop

I hate you
I hate that I love you
I hate that I would do anything for you
I hate that you don't care that I left you
I hate that you don't miss me as I miss you
I hate that you make me feel that I can never be loved
I hate that you have so much power over me
I hate that I'm the one who left you but I'm the one dying
I hate that you knew how much power you held over me
I hate that you don't want me
I hate that I love the way you make me feel even though you hate me

when i'm around you i'm
louder
awkward
weird
i try to get your attention but you never notice me
but you never notice

when i'm around you
i feel invisible
i feel like i don't exist
like i'm no one
like i'm dead

when the waters calm down, you come to the shore
if my footprints you are looking for, the sea destroyed them
like every time you chose wrong time

People tell me to be myself.  But when I do.  I am told to
Grow up
Shut up
Straighten up
Sit down
Go away
And many other phrases I will not repeat

So which is it.  Be myself.  Or be like everyone else

I say be myself
I am not a mindless drone
I am not a programed robot

I will be myself
I will until the day I die
Anyone who doesn't like me the way I am
Can kiss my ***

As I lie here
Starring up at the night sky
Wandering about my purpose
About my direction in life