Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
15.3k · Nov 2018
your name
Deanna Nov 2018
when ever i hear your name
my heart instantly
sinks
to the bottom of a
sea.
1.3k · Oct 2019
tears
Deanna Oct 2019
the tears
that I'm so use to
I don't even realize
they're there
669 · Sep 2019
Broken pieces
Deanna Sep 2019
I saw your broken pieces
And i tried to put them together
But when you saw mine
You made them even smaller...
635 · Jan 2019
Poetry
Deanna Jan 2019
All her poems she writes
Pour out of her heart
As if a secret that was
kept for years
604 · Jan 2019
Sayings
Deanna Jan 2019
Saying i love you
Was the biggest lie
Ive heard
598 · Jun 2019
Year
Deanna Jun 2019
By the next year
We will be apart
More than ever
By the next year
You wont know me
By the next year
You wont want
To see me
Bu the next year
Ill just be
Another
Memory
581 · Jan 2021
Depression hits
Deanna Jan 2021
The amount of energy it takes to be as quiet as possible
while choking on your own tears and trembles at night.
The tears running down your face and neck leaving them to dry because you dont have the energy to wipe them away anymore.
578 · Mar 2019
Why your single
Deanna Mar 2019
Your single because
Every time you say you like me
Than turn around to someone else
When I'm not around
521 · Jan 2021
therapist
Deanna Jan 2021
some days the therapist may ask,
"how are you doing?"
some days they may mention
"you look well rested,"
or bring up,
"you seem to be doing better than before."
But they don't realize that all these things are lies
that when I get home i'll break down into tears
wishing i'd die already and then pass out.
Is that what getting better looks like?
498 · May 2021
Anxiety
Deanna May 2021
there's this feeling in my stomach
  not like the sickness you feel when you have a stomach ache
or the butterflies of nervousness
  maybe this isn't in my stomach at all
it's like a bunch of deer running in a field
  but not gracefully
they're running from prey
  it feels as if my chest tightens as my stomach sinks
it's a mixture of anxiousness and worry
482 · Nov 2019
~Does it make you happy?~
Deanna Nov 2019
Does it make you happy when you drink all that alcohol? Does it make you forget all the pain and stress of the world?  Does it let you hide from your real feelings? Drowning your emotions with in all the empty bottles. Does it help you sleep better at night? Knowing you’ll wake up only to repeat the process all over again.
~
Does it make you happy when you abuse her?
Does it make you feel powerful? Although in reality you're just as big as your actions. Does it give you relief when she falls to the ground? When she's bleeding in silence from all those strikes just to make you whole. Does it help you sleep after using her like a 10 year old girl with a doll? Is this your idea of loving her? Or are you just a killer?
~
Does it make you happy yelling? Yelling at those who thought you loved yet you yell and scare them. Do you use that fear as power? Does it feel good to make others feel as if they have no future or worth in this world? Does it help your self esteem to be little others.
476 · Jan 2019
~LIFE~
Deanna Jan 2019
LIFE
why did you hurt me
give me pain i didn't want
nor pain i didn't need

why did you show me love
but never reallly receive it

why did you have to go and hurt me?
466 · Apr 2019
Midnight
Deanna Apr 2019
Thinking about
You
So late
But so earily
In the day
Is deadly
To my heart
And soul
{Need sleeping pills}
444 · Apr 2019
Wasted words
Deanna Apr 2019
Wasting my words on someone who doesn't care
Wasting my words for someone who will never hear
Wasting my words for the person that isn't ever there
...
442 · Jan 2021
dark emptiness
Deanna Jan 2021
Slowly I fall closer into that hole
I've lost grip of that branch, which was keeping me above it all.
My fingers digging into the dirt as every day goes by
more tear drops begin to fall
more thoughts fill my head
and more pain fills my heart as my body sinks into the hole.
425 · Jan 2019
But if i did love...
Deanna Jan 2019
If I did love
Told you I loved you
That'd I'd be there for as long
as you want me
Would you let me
Or hurt me?
408 · Mar 2019
Cry
Deanna Mar 2019
Cry
Sometimes the most quiet people have the loudest cries.
391 · Oct 2019
Anger
Deanna Oct 2019
a person is not born with anger
anger is a build up of pain and disappointment
caused by the people they thought loved them
390 · Jan 2019
Its not easy
Deanna Jan 2019
It's not easy to stop drop everything and say I'm fine
It's not easy for me to let go even after all the pain I suffered
It's not easy to smile
It's not easy to laugh
It's not easy but I swear I'm trying.
~To my best friend
389 · Jun 2019
Listen to your heart
Deanna Jun 2019
His words told your ears love
But your heart told you to run
386 · Mar 2022
Leaving
Deanna Mar 2022
I thought leaving I would finally be happy
Free of responsibilities
yet
I still feel trapped
380 · Nov 2018
falling
Deanna Nov 2018
i fell in love

i fell apart

i picked up the pieces

but they broke again
376 · May 2019
Blue eyes
Deanna May 2019
Your eyes are so cold
But so warm
At the
Same time
375 · Apr 2018
saying no
Deanna Apr 2018
I am hurt
but so are you
you ask and ask
but I just say no
you don't care
you try and try
never giving up
because you believe
we're meant to be
#love #the one #no
367 · Oct 2019
~the moon and sun~
Deanna Oct 2019
when the sun and the moon met
they created darkness
I guess you were the sun
and I
was the moon
eclipse
353 · Apr 2019
Friday
Deanna Apr 2019
I want to
die
From all
This
Pain
Inside
350 · Jun 2019
Words
Deanna Jun 2019
Its funny how i write
All these words
But when i
Talk to
you i
Have
None
350 · Jan 2019
Little love
Deanna Jan 2019
Little love in this heart
Thinking I liked someone that broke my heart
Think I'd heal and start again
But just break down again
The little love I have
From my wasted days in bed
Where I heal myself and heart too
Hopeing I'd find someone soon.
347 · Dec 2018
Understanding
Deanna Dec 2018
I just want someone to understand
Understand the pain of waking up every morning to ******* that breaks me down to nothing.
Understand the loneliness I suffer from because my mother can't see the hugs she hasn't given me since I was 6
Understand the scars on my wrists that I did to myself cause I have zero self control.
Understand that I need to be sure your not going to leave me because it's so hard to meet people due to my social anxiety.
Understand that I've gone through a lot and when some days I'm off and seem sad it's because my life doesn't seem to get any better.
Understand that I don't want to hear his name or hear anything of him because he left me I didn't leave him and if he wanted me back for a daughter he could have came back.
Understand if I say I'm dead, great, or fine that I'm slowly contemplating my life and that I don't really want to talk about my problems.
Understand that when I try and talk to you I really want to talk to you and that you may mean alot to me and alot is more than some people can get.
It's almost 5am and can't sleep hoping maybe a miracle will hit
346 · Jan 2019
{Mistakes}
Deanna Jan 2019
I made mistakes i cant fix
But doesnt everyone?
340 · Jun 2018
broken
Deanna Jun 2018
your promises are like glass
you drop them
and they
break...
-thanks dad.
334 · Mar 2019
Heart
Deanna Mar 2019
You ripped my heart out
With your bare hands
And threw it on the ground
As if it was nothing
313 · Jan 2019
11:45
Deanna Jan 2019
I broke
I broke down
I held it in all month
All the pain
And stress
But then i broke again.
310 · Jul 2020
let it go
Deanna Jul 2020
The leaf on a tree hanging on for no apparent reason
When you can already see it crumbling to pieces.
Holding on to it although it's not necessary
Only hoping to be given life but death is irreversible
Finally coming to the conclusion you no longer can help this leaf grow
So let it go, falling to the ground, to be turned into something else
To be treated with the care that you could never provide
Even if you tried
286 · Nov 2018
ending
Deanna Nov 2018
i didn't want it to end this way
i didn't want to leave you
i didn't want to hurt you
but i didn't want to hold on to be selfish
and hold on to you when i knew
you'd be better off without me
and i was right
280 · Apr 2019
Wall
Deanna Apr 2019
You broke through my wall of a heart
But also left with it still broken
274 · Nov 2018
Love?
Deanna Nov 2018
Loves like a present
Its wrapped nice and neat
With kindness and care
But one day
It's ripped apart.
270 · Apr 2020
~the soul of a butterfly~
Deanna Apr 2020
Your loving words
lightly touch my soul
like butterfly wings
healing all the wounds
that are hidden inside
260 · Jan 2019
Why love?
Deanna Jan 2019
Why should I love
To get my heart broken again
To have more wasted days in bed
To text you and be left on read
To feel the hole in my heart
To sit in dark rooms and cut
Why should I love again
if all it brings is
Pain
250 · Apr 2020
forgotten
Deanna Apr 2020
All those late nights
talking on the phone until we fell asleep
watching movies in the dark
laughing under all those stars
adventuring to places we weren't supposed to be
you've forgotten all the little, stupid secrets that we use to share
and all the other thing's that made us who we were
you've forgotten about me
...
230 · Jan 2019
Forgetting
Deanna Jan 2019
I often forget who I am because I'm around people who expect me to be
some one I'm not.
226 · Apr 2018
what are we
Deanna Apr 2018
we complain about being lonely
but yet again were to afraid of the thing that will comfort us.
so what do we do
we let ourselves say no
we let all ourselves ask what if
we push everyone away
we hurt ourselves for hurting others
then in the end we lie in bed and regret everything
-us as humans shouldn't be afraid
226 · Jun 2019
Alcohol
Deanna Jun 2019
Its killing me
Yet im not
The one
Drinking
It
215 · Jan 2019
Pain
Deanna Jan 2019
You saw my pain and ran
Didn't hold on and comfort me
Instead you left me in the darkness
With my own thoughts and actions...
213 · Nov 2018
wasted days in bed
Deanna Nov 2018
i waste my days
lying in bed
thinking of the guy
i've loved for so long
that i no longer
want to open my heart
to anyone else
again.
169 · Apr 2020
~Rose
Deanna Apr 2020
So beautiful
Yet so painful to hold
Almost like a disguise
Hiding the pain
Under the beauty
Of petals
158 · Apr 2018
Untitled
Deanna Apr 2018
you were my sun my moon and my stars. But slowly the sun never rose, the stars never shone, and the moon never came.
144 · Apr 2020
Your words
Deanna Apr 2020
Your words hit my heart like shards of glass
Cutting through my flesh
And leaving such large holes
That may never be fixed

— The End —