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pick me up and hold me until i melt
squeeze me so tightly that my bones are crushed
like a mosquito exploding on your forearm
like a stress doll
exhaust me
get lost in me
i'm as wondrous and expansive as a cave
filled with bats
that will sing until you let go if you are to catch one
i promise i can be fun
if you promise me you won't run
when i pull out my guns
A moth flies into a podiatrist’s office and says,
“I hate my wife, my son, and myself.
I can’t look in mirrors anymore. Please help me.”

The foot doctor tells him, “I’m sorry
but I can’t do anything for you.
Why did you come here?”

And the moth says,
(this is the punch line)
“Your light was on.”

Everyone laughs.

I leave out the parts about
moths flying too close to the light
because they don’t know it will **** them,

how they flit through open windows into our bedrooms
because they are following something beautiful,
because they don’t know that they’re lost,

that we find their tiny corpses
in the corners of our homes
and behind our beds.

I’ve always looked in mirrors too long.
I stare at the dark circles under my eyes and think,
“Please help me,” and my reflection says, “I’m trying.”

I thought about killing myself yesterday
and didn’t tell anybody,
not even my foot doctor.

No one laughs,

because that’s about as funny
as a suicidal moth turning towards the light
because he has nowhere else to go.
 Mar 2015 margaret flowers
Alyssa
you
an old melody
left hanging
long after the silent noise
swallows the air whole.
the warmth
of pomegranate tea
trickling downward
in an empty stomach.
the wrinkles on cold knuckles,
fresh linen sheets,
honey down my throat.
battle scars;
burgundy lightning striking it's way
up boney knees
from tumbling so **** hard
over the cracked sidewalk.
rain on Sunday.
flakes of frost
emerging from the clouds
finding their way to our scalps;
standing outside, pushed against
fuzzy fabrics
that rest over your chest
saying, 'oh, please
I'm in love
I'm in love.'

Copyright ©  2015 Alyssa Packard
All Rights Reserved
if I had to put the feeling of falling for him into words

— The End —