i can't remember anymore,
my mind doesn't want to bother.

it's all a waste of time,
waste of space
waste of air.

my mind is trying to run off.

help my eyes close,
seal them shut.

my vice has got me by the throat,
there's so many i've lost count.

hidden agendas between my selves.
the ones that i would never tell.

there's no need for help,
it was never meant to end well.

dreams with unavoidable deaths

when all i can do is wait for the moment i wake up,

hoping i don’t feel the feeling of being mutilated to bits.

children eating the rotting corpses of good for nothing adults,

good for nothing in this post apocalyptic world.

climbing the highest towers,

searching for signs, maybe we’ll be the lucky ones left alive.

but no sorrow, we can’t unsee the unavoidable fate.

viruses, man made ruins, things we alter within ourselves.

humanity has died off.

nothing left.

no time left to spend.

unless you’re crouching, hiding for dear life.

but what’s life when you know it’s all gone?

nothing left to hold on to.

no one left to talk to.

just waiting for the moment you get noticed,

dragged, soon to be corpse.

telling myself, it will only be a second more.

reminded, ‘somewhere else i am already gone.

this is just another dream i will soon wake up from.’

continuing into another dimension.

this breath is just another temporary momentum.

half dead, half alive. i don’t even know what’s left inside anymore..

sick of being told i look nice, everything comes with a price.

no trust, no one wants to get to know you deep inside.

temporary strangers and flakes that i will never look at.

no one wants to find the real me, only the smile that hides the hatred inside.

no love for those who run away, no love for people like me who hide.

happier alone, i don’t need this from anyone.

too many strangers makes me want to cut, makes me want to slit them up

and eventually i’ll end up in court.

no means no is apparently not an answer a girl with a pretty face can give.

but no is the ******* answer you’re going to learn to take.

smash your **** up and stuff it down your throat.

you’re going to learn what it means when a ***** says NO!!!

4 months to get over it.

but today the strings are gone.

we can never talk or be friends.

act like nothing was and nothing will be.

i will always care for you, you meant so much.

but it finally died off.

so just let it rot off.

let it stay shut and don’t open pandora’s box again.

i have returned.

hopeless romantic in love with no one but the universe, death, and herself.

back to me without you.

back to what always was in front of my eyes.

back to where i love to hide on my own.

just another story to tell, another soul i have stolen and left.

another stranger in the sea. another one that was never meant for me.

my brainnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

i want to smush you

i want a whole carton of cigarettes to myself.

i want an 1/8th to get incredibly high,

i want a bottle of whiskey with a side of sleeping pills.

i just want to know i have it.

i want to know i can die forgetting what i can’t forget.

i want to go away.

i want to fade away.

away away away..

alone alone alone.

nothing nothing nothing

is going to change….

not digging this nausea. let’s just get to the high part.
loose my body. it does not even exist.
all in my mind, it’s only a matter of time.
til these moments come to pass.
left my mind drift away, let it float on to space.
continuum into another dimension, another one where i am nothing at all.
voidless disaster, turning light into darkness.
continuing the circle, letting you find your clues.
it all ties together.
i am here and nowhere.
here and nothing.
everything and madness.
*****… pure stench of melted memories that aren’t real anymore.

centuries have waited for you,

centuries to tell you one thing.

times i've have the chance to say I love you

and to tell you how much you mean to me.

a beautiful addition to the world is what you are,

a beautiful puzzle piece within the universe to find.