I'D RATHER GO BLIND THAN WATCH MYSELF BE REPLACED

I dig a hole in myself
and fill it with words

I didn't want
I didn't want to begin with
I didn't want this
I remember the days before I was born,
the great nothings of that time are branded,
seared and scarred
into my mind
I didn't want days
I didn't mind the nothing
It was quite pleasant, if I recall correctly
that grey nonexistence
that black nothing
I didn't want all these somethings
I didn't want at all

It was comforting.
But the questions hurt
and the wanting came suddenly, harshly
and it will never leave
we are beings of want
beings of try and try again

I don't want to try
I don't try to want
I try
I want

Did you want to be alive?
Did you try to be born?
Did you choose existence?

I know I didn't.
It was forced upon me.

nevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertryn­evertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertryne­vertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynev­ertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertryneve­rtrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynever­trynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevert­rynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertr­ynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertry­nevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertryn­evertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertryne­vertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynev­ertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertryneve­rtrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynever­trynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevert­rynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertrynevertry

I saw what I wanted to see instead of what was right in front of me.

Our love is a shooting star
So majestic and true
With elongated trail
Serves as memories
Some lights are kept
Others are swept
Slowly disintegrate into nothingness
But each fading light
Erased from my sight

Your blinding lust
To have you is a must
But all is short
As you come and go  

I shall wait for my star
Again and again
As the first one flew by
A new star shall take its flight


                                             By Our Love Henceforth
                                            And For What It's Worth

                 S....t....a....r....d....u....s....t............M....e....m...­.o....r....i....e....s
                        I               a       e             T       e                    o       t
                                 *C        r              ­        h                  M       s

Wait, you mean I have to actually relate to these cretins?

I don't even care if they care.
Just give me a pair of eyes to stare at while I improvise lines.
A couple of ears to hear some sorry excuses for rhymes.
I'll recite them all for less than a dime.
I'm just hoping for another free Corona.
(Please hold the ******* lime.)