I'm loosing my heart
I'm loosing my mind
I'm loosing my will
And my want to survive

I want to do nothing
But lay in bed all day
In the arms of someone I love
And be told its going to be okay

I want someone to understand
That even when I'm smiling
Inside I'm crying
Inside I'm dying

It can't be helped
And I feel all alone
I'm tired of crying
And I'm tired of not being in a true home

I only expected friendship
I never expected anything more than that
But more than friendship seemed to happen
I was so shocked and taken aback

I had only dreamed of those things
Things I never thought we would do
Yet we did them anyways
I opened my heart up for you

Yet now you walk away
Because of another
Speaking words I had said
But not understanding what I really meant

Walls I built so high
To keep myself free from pain
But somehow you got through
But you tore them down all the same

I told someone how i felt
But they took them the wrong way
Like everyone else
I never got to explain

So now i sit here
Building my walls up again
Building more than before
Building them higher and higher

But you were not completely to blame
It was my fault as well
I shouldn't have fallen for someone
with whom I had no chance

So now I let you go
The one who once freed me from loneliness
Now I'm behind my walls
Back to who I was before

Is it so wrong to love him?
Is it so wrong to have fallen for him?
Is it so wrong to want to be held by him?
Is it so wrong to want to kiss him?
I long for his touch
I long for him to hold me
But I know we will never be
Anything hinting to that is just a day dream
Yet my heart still yearns for him
Like how it still yearns to sing
But it will never be
We will never be a thing
I want to be his
I want him to claim me
But no matter how much I wish it
That reality will never be
So I sit here suffering
Trying to be a good friend
But at the same time I can't help
But wish for a love that will never come
So again I wonder
Deep with in my heart
Why is this to be?
Why is this so wrong?

1...2...3...4...
A few is not enough so go and add more
5...6...7...8...
You're doing the one thing they all hate
9...10...11...12...
Go ahead, Scream and yell
13...14...15...16...
No one could ever fix me
17...18...19...20...
Okay enough, I think thats plenty
21...22...23...24...
Okay girl, thats enough, please no more
25...26...27...28...
****** girl, don't seal your fate
29...30...31...32...
So many people would weep for you
33...34...35...36...
Please stop, we can fix this mess
37...38...39...40...
Okay,***, this is getting boring
41...42...43...44...
Now her existence is no more

I have two special people
Who are my reason to smile
My reason to stand tall
Who make my life worthwhile

One of them has marked me
With a special ring
The other is my best friend
Who makes me want to sing

Both of them have saved me
Multiple times and in multiple ways
And even though I'm a hand full
I know we will have many special days

They give me a reason to live
A reason to hope and a reason to stay strong
Without them I would fall apart
Is that really so wrong?

So even though they probably won't see this
I want to let them know
That I am not going anywhere
And that my happiness will continue to show

We met
We fell
We loved
We felt happiness

We planned
We held on
we doubted
we broke

I cried
I lost
I crashed
I burned

I told
I cut
I begged
I found peace

He found me
He saved me
He helped me
He tried to help me forget

He promised
He lied
He cheated
He broke

You found me
You loved me
You told me
You held me

You left me
You forgot me
You moved on
You all broke me

I stare at the clock
My mind racing
A mile a minute
With no indication of stopping

My eyes feel heavy
But my body won't stop moving
So I sit here writing
Hoping it will help even slightly

An hour passes by
I still sit here
I still keep writing
I should be in bed

This is stupid
Why can't I sleep?
I'm not an insomniac
So why won't my body rest?