Caught by your eyes, when I fell for you,
Struggling in painful, I didn’t know what to do.
The sunlight faded leaving me burned.
Sweet hallucinations,
Force feeding me candies.

Trapped amongst the void,
I don’t wanna call this home.
Submerged into media and fakery,
of the make-believe lives.

Thud! Thud! Thud!
Several years have gone by.
Just like me you panic out of your mind,
So impatient, so ill-mannered.

I stared at the fabric, covered in gifts of grief,
Every breath is a struggle I make.

The first memories of sorry often lie in the first years of school,
don't rip out Cindy's hair, don't tread on Tommy's shoes,
stand up straight and look on forward deep into their eyes,
the teacher would adjust you then say apologise!

Smack! Dead in the middle, hit harder than before,
It wasn't your fault you didn't see her behind the door,
but it's okay! She may be crying,
but she knows you didn't mean it.

SLAM! The door ruptures the eardrums of your family,
you screech out in anger and fear but you hide your crying,
how could he leave you so easily, in the blink of an eye?
it wasn't your fault, you did your best and yet you still say sorry.

It feels numb now, everything not because of the loss of love,
but the lack of it and so you search around frantically,
you either will act in pain and sorry and discarded aside,
or maybe you'll learn to hide it and say sorry every time.

It gets to a point the pain begins to drip away from your skin,
you realise you weren't to blame but it doesn't ease anything,
you hold a note to your heart and vow to be kind and tender,
the mirror stares at you too and begins to say "I'm sorry".

Endings aren't always as expected as you see,
brainwashing of the mind can be almost too easy.
Cruel nature often hides within the veins of our being,
yet would it really hurt to put the acid away and neutralise us all?

Sorry is often stated but in the end it's just a word,
the sentimental value is the part we need the most.

You hold me in a cuddle, tight and warm. You hold me tighter than ever before.

We've loved, we've lost and left confused by who we are, but I know deep down, this is true love.

I thought,
This is everything,
I've ever,
Wanted for us.

So now, I ask myself,
Why you don't...
Want us to stay.

Bright mind with overflown joy,
Loving personality and poise.
Absolutely irreplaceable,
Intelligent, incredible and...
Reckless.
Everyone's favourite kind of girl.

Shed my skin away,
All my work has undoubtedly undone,
I knew I would ruin myself in this mess.

I've been unsure if I'd lose the one,
We all yearn for something more,
His flames shone brighter than a lighthouse.

I think it's safe to say I'm wasted water,
Left amongst charcoal leaves ripped apart,
I thought my body would remain bruised.

Instead I felt myself, burned to a crisp,
Dignity left pealing my bark away,
I don't understand how you could hurt me.

I tried to get the best for you,
Pushing myself up and beyond to minimum,
But you would rather leave before then.

Is it just myself to blame,
Ripping parts of my body to bits.

You carry on like a fast-paced wheel,
While I am stuck in place.
You carry on everyday,
But I'm stuck here just the same.
I hope I'm fine, I want more time,
Please don't take that away.

To be just someone else on a list
Of others
Would just pain me.

White dress shimmer in the sun,
Black hair filled with stars.

A skin of history feels so old,
Mapping out journey forevermore.

A stiff upper lip to hold pride,
For not only me and who I am.

Feel my toes within the seashore,
Aloha Oe.

A hui hou kākou,
Are words a younger me once meant.

As my fruit withers,
To renew the soils again.

A hui hou kākou,
Are words I mean again.

You brought me dreams,
From rigid pain.
One that I hope,
You'll grow free of again.

I've developed a fragile heart,
It makes me afraid of change.
I want to show you love,
But I fear you won't feel the same.

Your respect is strong and rigid,
But my heart is warm and pumping.
So I feel myself falling in love,
In the ways I feel I shouldn't.

You're stories birthed amongst the stars,
Makes my heart start growing leaves.
You said the fog was way too thick,
To see the constellations.

You were all my heart craved,
Under a mistletoe Christmas.
But even this year I'm alone,
Because you're not the one in it.

Each poem I write comes to an end,
But my heart feels the same.
The pumping, the butterflies and sick,
I'd do anything for you to feel the same.

Why was it so easy
to hide my blushing smile
than it is to hide
my devastated cries.

Complex past lives can fit like a puzzle,
but your desire for suffering came in with a chainsaw.
Lives can be truthful and forever a memory-filled mind,
but your lack of forgiveness, leaves me invalidated.

I just want to let it all fade in the wind,
of course I'll take consequences, but you just won't forget,
to remind me, to stab me as each day passes on,
I just want to let it all fade and be gone.

Perish my thoughts, re-create some kind of lie,
because so many years were lost because of your sick minds.
You chose to fracture the soul of a child,
to have her grow up picking pieces up, begging for a reminder,
as to why she should live on, as each day grows harder.

Is it so hard to forget about me? As I'm already left alone.
Is it so hard to let me be, just let me go.
The more you hold onto me, it suffocates me more,
I understand I wasn't great, but you're killing my soul.

I could fight mountains, earthquakes and stop tropical storms too,
no matter what amount of work I put in, it's worthless to you.
I don't know what else to say, what's the point of talking too,
when you erase each word I say to fabricate something new.

I'm done with all this suffering, I'm done with all this pain,
I've tried 300 times to just start over again,
won't you let me just grow, I don't want to hear my name.
Because of you, I started to hate every single one of my veins.

Frustration turns to tears, I can't deal with this again, it's pathetic,
it's petty and I'm getting exhausted of your games.
If I were to start over, to live my life again,
I wouldn't waste a breath on you, I'd walk the other way.

Moments of pure magic,
I shared between you and I.
Chances of love, eyes drop,
Heavenly gazes, lovestruck faces.
Astounding starlight patterns show,
Even within the dark, we create light,
Love shared between you and I.

The ram is leaving the farm soon,
I felt myself chip away.
All of the songs you haven't heard,
began pulsating a sensation of pain.
Small gasps of air, but understanding,
I can't force you to stay here.
But I made the barn a place to relax,
to see you walk away devastates.

The ram is readying to go soon,
It's enjoying it's final suppers.
I really hope I can enjoy a meal,
knowing the Ram had it in store.

The Ram is leaving soon,
I checked for them each day.
I would always stare towards the sun,
wishing the ram a better day.

The ram, it's not staying,
A sense of denial, laughter and suffering.
Who will accompany the lonely bull now?
If the ram has gone away.

You think you're keen,
You see my eyes,
My shift in key.

You think you're smooth,
But what if you knew,
My shift was because of your tune.

Leaving her side brittle and torn,
Overdramatic assumptions and worse truths.
Vicious glances and brutal stares,
Even now, I wonder if she cries.

I got red lipstick, dedicated to my old ways of a diva,
your there, with a cheek full of blush, darkened eyes.
It's like magic, feeling this intoxicated love, wow.

Your kisses are all over my mind, I just want them,
I want to feel your chest like, let me linger, let me touch your heart,
kiss me until I'm dead, poison me violently tonight.

I feel like I just turn this all on like streetlights,
or a blaze among this wind, rip my life into an inferno,
drinking isn't fun without a friend, I just want you here again,
I can't remember the clock tower's chimes when my mind is in awe.

Church bells ring, they must sound like needles within your heart,
for me it's something new, a fun experience and an adventure,
I want to kiss you as well, my mind is in a daze but I don't care,
it's okay if it's a mistake, I'll enjoy it, it's a part of the fun.

I just want to know the boy laying within this man,
I feel if life was different we could, find a new little secret talk,
something that could take over this world, but you won't let me turn it up.

I understand I can be wrong, my decisions are terrible,
but my taste, it's a fine watery Merlot, coated in sicking fun,
I know I can be wrong, but the fun it remains and I want you there.

Drinking isn't fun without a friend.

My tender Ram, why have you become so confused?
Your flame made you feel like somebody worth intimacy,
yet I see you burn the soul of someone new.

Your cluttered mind has revoked individuality,
the delight I once held has turned to ashes.

Chaotic screeching of a disorganized person,
sending a blaze to catch others alight!

A firestorm of undisciplined immaturity,
embers scatter my deep affection.

My dear Ram, what have you done?
Why has everyone else caught fire?

The whishing of a morning wind,
Rustling within my brain.

Warmth brewing beneath my lips,
Pulsating heart of dark rain.

The more greed my heart forms,
The disgust in myself is held strong.

I'm prideful with the fluid of love,
Yet nobody, cares for my waterfall ride.

It ***** that I can't say,
What I want to truly say.

It hurts when I can't shout,
What I want to shout out!

How many years must pass,
For you to open your eyes?

Was I ever yours?
Will you ever be mine?

Exhausted by excitement,
Followed up by daily activity.
You feel yourself paralyzed in fear,
Nobody else would even begin to...
Speak, you're trying your hardest to speak.

Yet everyone hears my shouts
As whispers
In the night.

The flame of our world is beautiful,
Creation of warm atmospheric euphoria.

To feel an emotional caress of my cheek,
Followed by a gasp of sun kisses on my head.

He came for raindrops falling on rear mirrors,
I never intended to see the ocean so blue.

She came here to remind herself more of you,
But it isn't what I feel she wants to do.

For a life so bright to come into mine,
Like a candle flame dimming away.

Do you really want this life I give?
I'm shocked you never stayed.

You said this love was temporary,
Until you found a new one.

Why should I be left,
Because I'm not traditional.

Your cheeky ways blow my mind,
I'm thinking of you all the time.

My heart pounds loud,
Especially without you.

But I can't live,
Without saying I love you.

Maybe you'd hoped for a different time,
But I had to do this for us to find...

The beauty that is known as us,
For every memory I'm grateful of.

A part of me hopes you never fall in love again,
Just so I can keep you in my arms forever.

Sometimes a small spark is all that's needed to reignite the flames of self again; You are finally free, my dear.