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174 · Feb 2023
The Family Garden
Louisa Coller Feb 2023
I nurtured this garden, the animals roam free.
Held high with respect for the flowers around me.

I would water the lillies,
I sent them away.
I would keep one with me,
holding tight everyday.

The daisies kept growing,
creating fields of youth,
We giggled amongst them sipping lemon juice.

I lit a fire, forming a phoenix of wood,
I watched it fly away towards the sky.

I had wondered for hours why he didn't stay,
Caring for raspberries, blackberries in hay.
The water I used, was no longer pure.
It was full of toxins, crippling them all.

The flowers started wilting,
they turned to my face.
This isn't like you,
Perhaps I changed.

Soon amongst the deserted lands,
The smallest flower's head began to pop out.
It showed me the truth amongst the lies,
I almost felt myself begin to cry.

I nurtured this garden, the animals are gone.
Hanging my head, as shame has come.
Holding onto my lily, never giving her away.
For she's the only one, who truly stayed.
170 · Oct 2023
You've made mistakes.
Louisa Coller Oct 2023
I heard life has been rough for you,
Is it bad I assumed a self-inflicted wound?

I was told to be kind but is it bad,
I felt hurt by the fact you
tried to rip me apart too.

I cared deeply for where I am,
I did this all for my family, the love that I hold,
You tried to take it from me.

Don't you realize how cruel,
You really have been?

You nearly ripped my world apart over jealousy.

Like it didn't hurt for me to walk away,
You've made mistakes.
166 · Feb 2019
Lonely
Louisa Coller Feb 2019
Body heat against a blanket,
Covering me in hope and sadness,
I love you dearly and more than before,
But you're not here at all.
163 · Mar 2023
Firewood
Louisa Coller Mar 2023
I built confidence on a false hope,
this is where the seasons change.
I felt myself grow to be hacked down,
by the neighborhood lumberjacks.

As they burn my wooden soul,
They tease and joke.

"I can't believe they'd do this to you",
But you were the one who set fire to me.
160 · Apr 2018
Please Get Better.
Louisa Coller Apr 2018
A world of colour, before my eyes,
then it flashes and melts in sight.
The colours of beauty seep into colourless nights,
my soul seems in need of repair.
Recently dealing with the loss of a relative.
160 · Aug 2018
Funeral
Louisa Coller Aug 2018
You are so bitter to me, inner torture of worry,
I ask my thoughts endless questions, questions like “What went wrong?”.
I want to spread my vibrancy of inner beauty and love,
yet I glance to see your hatred does not contribute to the above.
I feel the anger build up, being forced down my throat,
Individual's lanterns fade into the dark.
Contacts one by one disappear into the black,
isolated, I am all alone again.

I feel my anxious heart beats, beating up and down,
I scream out with excitement which ruins all around.
I mostly wish my yelling would be heard from the side,
the other side of the room filled with all my love inside.

After feeling like all is gone, I rush into the cell,
painted wallpaper surroundings, windows forced shut.
I feel the days rushing past, the weeks alongside months too,
before I know it years have gone by and I'm still thinking of you.
I treasure my memories so deep and wonderfully inside my cracked heart,
I know you may have forgotten me, but I will never move on.

Popularity of others push images to the ground,
one of those images of identification happened to be mine.
I saw you there in the crowd cheering the beating on,
you watched the punches, slaps and cuts all over my body.
That ray of light I once had seen arisen from the dark,
an arm around me another in the air projecting the word, “Stop”.
I saw your face for the first time again and the drops of rain fell down,
you looked at me with your deep blue eyes and said it's all done now.
I felt my emptiness pour in, feeling my tears fly,
from my eye ducts to your skin, your warmth dries them up.

For years now continue on more and now you are all stone,
I tried so hard to make you smile, but I realized back then...
We can not always make one another smile in the light of day,
someday we share tears of pain and suffering we bare.
Now I see the candle in the freezing empty church,
but I didn't feel scared at all when I looked up and saw you there.
An older poem I wrote years back.
159 · Mar 2023
Why Leave This?
Louisa Coller Mar 2023
Freeze my outer shell with raindrops,
Rip my arms off with the droplets.

Burn my eyes, covered in salt and fear,
Kiss my lips like poison ivy.

Chop my toes from my core,
Peeling away like bread buns turned to crumbs.

Leave my heart, but I wish you took it,
It's disgusting me.
158 · Apr 2020
My Friend.
Louisa Coller Apr 2020
My friend has a beautiful smile,
One so genuine, sincere and sweet.

My friend has a beautiful voice,
A elegant voice, so delicate to hear.

My friend has a beautiful body,
So tall and steady, so pretty to me.

My friend has a laugh so adorable to see,
Breaths made, snickers said.

She's so wonderful to me.
Louisa Coller Sep 2023
I got red lipstick, dedicated to my old ways of a diva,
your there, with a cheek full of blush, darkened eyes.
It's like magic, feeling this intoxicated love, wow.

Your kisses are all over my mind, I just want them,
I want to feel your chest like, let me linger, let me touch your heart,
kiss me until I'm dead, poison me violently tonight.

I feel like I just turn this all on like streetlights,
or a blaze among this wind, rip my life into an inferno,
drinking isn't fun without a friend, I just want you here again,
I can't remember the clock tower's chimes when my mind is in awe.

Church bells ring, they must sound like needles within your heart,
for me it's something new, a fun experience and an adventure,
I want to kiss you as well, my mind is in a daze but I don't care,
it's okay if it's a mistake, I'll enjoy it, it's a part of the fun.

I just want to know the boy laying within this man,
I feel if life was different we could, find a new little secret talk,
something that could take over this world, but you won't let me turn it up.

I understand I can be wrong, my decisions are terrible,
but my taste, it's a fine watery Merlot, coated in sicking fun,
I know I can be wrong, but the fun it remains and I want you there.

Drinking isn't fun without a friend.
155 · Aug 2018
Wires
Louisa Coller Aug 2018
Annoyance radiates within my mind,
words better unsaid? Yet they feel so hard to find.
I have a hatred when I look within my reflection,
the chapped lips that my weak eyes can't take.
The drier my skin becomes, the sicker I feel,
is this lady Karma catching up to me again?

Fighting the universe isn't what I dreamed,
I leave the battleground wounded to the neck.
The time goes quick and it makes me sick,
wasting away in a shell of security.

Rush the gazes, avoid all eyes,
for the minute they look into mine,
pity will overflow within their bitter soul.

They walk on happily while I grip the wire tightly,
you are better leaving me behind this time.
152 · Jan 2023
Burned
Louisa Coller Jan 2023
Shed my skin away,
All my work has undoubtedly undone,
I knew I would ruin myself in this mess.

I've been unsure if I'd lose the one,
We all yearn for something more,
His flames shone brighter than a lighthouse.

I think it's safe to say I'm wasted water,
Left amongst charcoal leaves ripped apart,
I thought my body would remain bruised.

Instead I felt myself, burned to a crisp,
Dignity left pealing my bark away,
I don't understand how you could hurt me.

I tried to get the best for you,
Pushing myself up and beyond to minimum,
But you would rather leave before then.

Is it just myself to blame,
Ripping parts of my body to bits.
150 · Nov 2023
Lovesick Wonderland
Louisa Coller Nov 2023
When you're so far away,
I begin to let my mind rotate.
My anxiety grips me ferociously,
But my heart is beating desperately.

Chase him, give him space,
These guides of love make no sense.
Laugh with him, don't let him slide,
Are we talking about the same guy?

You can repair this don't hold back,
But you'll look desperate if you type back.
My mind is churning, my brain is swirling,
I just want him to love me back.

I know you could, you're afraid,
But trust me like a friend.

I know there's so much I don't know,
But let's open this up and see where it goes.

I know you're not saying no,
Your face and eyes showed my heart

You're thinking of me,
and it's plucking my strings.

Is this correct? Who the hell knows,
Just take me where you want to go.

Up and down, round and round,
Make me your Alice in Wonderland.
150 · Aug 2019
Plant Pot
Louisa Coller Aug 2019
I'm sorry for the damage,
they left cracks which I can't fill.
Just please admire me a little longer,
nobody will.
150 · Sep 2023
Roses
Louisa Coller Sep 2023
There's a reason I love these flowers,
Each one has a different memory locked.

The yellow roses of my grandmother's garden, the pink ones found on my aunt's side,
The red one's thorns of a rebellious woman,
The coats of colours of a dead cousin.

The rose garden of above,
Each colour holding someone I loved,
But some other flowers made the cut too,
149 · Nov 2018
Sorry
Louisa Coller Nov 2018
The first memories of sorry often lie in the first years of school,
don't rip out Cindy's hair, don't tread on Tommy's shoes,
stand up straight and look on forward deep into their eyes,
the teacher would adjust you then say apologise!

Smack! Dead in the middle, hit harder than before,
It wasn't your fault you didn't see her behind the door,
but it's okay! She may be crying,
but she knows you didn't mean it.

SLAM! The door ruptures the eardrums of your family,
you screech out in anger and fear but you hide your crying,
how could he leave you so easily, in the blink of an eye?
it wasn't your fault, you did your best and yet you still say sorry.

It feels numb now, everything not because of the loss of love,
but the lack of it and so you search around frantically,
you either will act in pain and sorry and discarded aside,
or maybe you'll learn to hide it and say sorry every time.

It gets to a point the pain begins to drip away from your skin,
you realise you weren't to blame but it doesn't ease anything,
you hold a note to your heart and vow to be kind and tender,
the mirror stares at you too and begins to say "I'm sorry".

Endings aren't always as expected as you see,
brainwashing of the mind can be almost too easy.
Cruel nature often hides within the veins of our being,
yet would it really hurt to put the acid away and neutralise us all?

Sorry is often stated but in the end it's just a word,
the sentimental value is the part we need the most.
148 · Jun 2022
A Loved Girl
Louisa Coller Jun 2022
Bright mind with overflown joy,
Loving personality and poise.
Absolutely irreplaceable,
Intelligent, incredible and...
Reckless.
Everyone's favourite kind of girl.
147 · May 2019
Reassurance
Louisa Coller May 2019
You hold me in a cuddle, tight and warm. You hold me tighter than ever before.

We've loved, we've lost and left confused by who we are, but I know deep down, this is true love.
146 · Aug 2018
What now?
Louisa Coller Aug 2018
Caught by your eyes, when I fell for you,
Struggling in painful, I didn’t know what to do.
The sunlight faded leaving me burned.
Sweet hallucinations,
Force feeding me candies.

Trapped amongst the void,
I don’t wanna call this home.
Submerged into media and fakery,
of the make-believe lives.

Thud! Thud! Thud!
Several years have gone by.
Just like me you panic out of your mind,
So impatient, so ill-mannered.

I stared at the fabric, covered in gifts of grief,
Every breath is a struggle I make.
An edited up version of a really old poem I found in my files and decided to post.
146 · Aug 2022
Come and Go
Louisa Coller Aug 2022
I thought,
This is everything,
I've ever,
Wanted for us.

So now, I ask myself,
Why you don't...
Want us to stay.
144 · Nov 2020
Being Sick
Louisa Coller Nov 2020
You carry on like a fast-paced wheel,
While I am stuck in place.
You carry on everyday,
But I'm stuck here just the same.
I hope I'm fine, I want more time,
Please don't take that away.

To be just someone else on a list
Of others
Would just pain me.
143 · Nov 2023
They Don't Want Us.
Louisa Coller Nov 2023
The world I live in,
Loves to take and not give.

They'll take my time and half it,
Being paid for less than this.

Take my love and critique it,
While they pay to let it slip.

Working five jobs between us,
While they make ten times the amount.

I don't even hold envy,
I just want to keep my love here.

Yet here I am, fighting every stage,
Of a country who doesn't love us.
142 · Aug 2020
Trust
Louisa Coller Aug 2020
SNAP!
It falls apart.

A string of hope?
No, it survived.

A thread of the soul?
Intact, it's muddled up.

A simple heart string?
It feels sore but not gone.

Well,
What was it then?

...
Trust.
141 · Jun 2020
Coward Confrontation
Louisa Coller Jun 2020
Hello?
My voice is heard,
but my heart stops.

Hello?
I hear your words,
And I want to stop.

Goodbye.
If I just keep quiet,
I won't upset you.

It'll damage me, instead.
A romance setting.
140 · Feb 2023
We'll Speak Again
Louisa Coller Feb 2023
I'll try to be good,
It's a struggle of mine.
I've been in danger,
Millions of times.

You lit a blush, inside a flame,
Wooden hearts filled with gold.
Maybe I was rude or perhaps too *****,
I dare not remind us of this bitter past.

I never hated you,
I just always lie.
I really loved you,
That was my only crime.

I hate myself,
I can't stand this girl.
I thought of us as heaven,
While hell was born.

Please forget me,
If it makes the pain drain.
Don't forget me,
If you felt the same.

I didn't deserve you,
You deserved everything.

Instead my heart was left to die,
In a fire I was blinded to.

She held up the matches right in front of you.
137 · Feb 2018
Handwritten
Louisa Coller Feb 2018
It's so easy to move your legs to the sounds of environment,
but for some, the movements are harder everyday.

Some dreams are left unspoken, others remain thoughts,
I want my dreams spoken, but written down, of course.

I wish for long-lasting, moments of forever,
yet we are fast-paced in every moment.

Eyes, brains, dreams and desires,
lips, sugar and overall delight.
136 · Mar 23
Lipstick Dreams
Louisa Coller Mar 23
I used to love the shade of red,
My lipstick, my dress and scrunchie in my hair.

But as I've grown, my colours fade,
Now the only red I see drips from my skin.

I thought I'd always be a vintage queen,
I'm stuck here feeling like a modern nightmare.
136 · Sep 2023
Good Morning
Louisa Coller Sep 2023
I don't want morning to come.

My day has been grey, filled with haze,
I thought I felt something special,
But as usual those things fade.

I don't want morning to come.

My night is dragging on,
Like nails on a chalkboard,
Crossing my eyes out.

I don't want morning to come.

To remind me of why I try,
To fall, to break, love and regret,
Every single time.

I don't want morning to come.

To be understood why I,
Come second everytime,
In someone else's life.

I don't want morning to come.

I'll have to explain myself,
My habits, my tears, my regrets and fears,
Like I'm a child I can't say a word.

I don't want morning to come.

But I'm struggling through this night,
There's no stars, no light,
Just a dark empty void.

I don't want morning to come.

I might actually understand,
My actions are better than I am,
Because the immaturity is handled in the dark.

I don't want morning to come.

Because I want to learn you,
Read you, uncover you, like lost pages,
Of a forbidden yet tempting book.

I don't want morning to come.

For you to see me like a mess,
Filled with sociable regrets,
You might learn when read.

Morning will come though...

And I'd understand,
I'll smile and wave,
It's the best I can do.

Because nobody deserves to deal with this.
135 · Sep 2023
I can't sleep.
Louisa Coller Sep 2023
I couldn't sleep,
So why don't I write?

I could write over,
A million little times.

But these moments are special,
Because these moments are mine.
135 · Jul 2021
Delinquent.
Louisa Coller Jul 2021
You brought me dreams,
From rigid pain.
One that I hope,
You'll grow free of again.
133 · Jun 2020
Black Lives Matter
Louisa Coller Jun 2020
Beautiful skin, shimmering with love.
Loving souls filled with stories.
Amazing music, dreaming of gold.
Curious wonders, captivated by lows.
Kind to one another, kind to all.

Living in fear, each and everyday.
Ignored by potential yet in pain.
Viciously harmed for being them.
Even today, when they plea for safety.
Some will just look another way.

March in lines for change and love,
Arrogance and racism left destroyed.
Together in community,
Together with care...
Everyone must understand,
Really how much is there.
Black lives matter
132 · Jan 2024
Wicker Man
Louisa Coller Jan 2024
Push me aside,
I'm an obstacle, right?
You need that goal so tempting, so rich,
So you push me aside.

A red flame, a blazing blitz,
A rich burn consuming my skin,
Your droplets of hopeful flames,
Dance my skin to remains.

How many times can the wicker man burn,
Before the glow within my lava flow,
Rips to bits pouring through.

A love with a mother of the unknown,
Treasured flowers and vanity growth,
All left as I'm pushed aside, placing duty above pride.

Thought I was a phoenix but maybe I'm dumb,
Each burn and cut left me further undone,
Screeches of serenity, mental abuse,
It wasn't just you.

How many times must I burn,
Before my flesh turns to bones.
It's very clear I'll take no more,
It's about time my hand shows.
132 · May 2024
A Whisper To You
Louisa Coller May 2024
You wonder why
My words are little
In a world so large

Because I sing constellations
Universes, planets and solar systems
To even get a whisper to you.
132 · Jun 2018
Willows
Louisa Coller Jun 2018
We're foolish,
I know they say it.
We're individuals filled with difference,
In a world of indifference.

A poet hopes for someone to read their words,
but a writer sighs in pity from the silence around them.
It almost hurts to feel like a leader,
but they're quiet, what can you do?

I want to bare your children a breath of life,
which never leaves their lungs.
The feeling of skin is unnecessary,
for my thoughts are what need to stay.

Love and wisdom hand in hand,
are as beautiful as can be.
131 · Nov 2023
Whish
Louisa Coller Nov 2023
The whishing of a morning wind,
Rustling within my brain.

Warmth brewing beneath my lips,
Pulsating heart of dark rain.

The more greed my heart forms,
The disgust in myself is held strong.

I'm prideful with the fluid of love,
Yet nobody, cares for my waterfall ride.
130 · Dec 2023
Alcoholic Confessions
Louisa Coller Dec 2023
You were drawing pictures with me,
I was sipping beer and see,
You downing another shot of whiskey.

I said I liked your rugged style,
I think saying that made you smile,
Because I compared it to an album in the 90s.

But as the desperation seeped in,
Our minds kept wandering and,
It left me with a sense of ambition.

You said the best painters were drunks,
I said the best musicians were on drugs,
You cackle at what I say...

We talked about life and death,
I confront the words you said,
You blame liquor and talk,
but I didn't believe you.

I said I know crave your touch,
But you mean something a lot,
Something I envy.

I asked "What's got you down?"
Wondering why you're hurting now,
You simply tell me then,
You fear you'll never reach the end.

I said it's the journey not the goal,
I've met my goals before,
I know I crave the journey more,
My heart pounding in my chest.

But as the desperation seeped in,
Our minds kept wandering and,
It left me with a sense of ambition.

You said the best painters were drunks,
I said the best musicians were on drugs,
You cackle at what I say...

We talked about being replaced,
I feared you leaving everyday but,
You began to say,
"Everyone literally could replace me."

I've never met anyone like you,
Your charming demeanor came through,
You mean everything to me,
It's a promise that I keep.

But as the desperation seeped in,
Our minds kept wandering and,
It left me with a sense of ambition...

That I love you.

I clearly love you.

I thought I would,
Fall,
For the idea of us.

But as I get to know you,
I know it's clear as day,
This sense of sweet ambition is here to stay.
129 · Mar 2024
Better Than This
Louisa Coller Mar 2024
Fiction helps keep a lot of us sane,
Making up stories almost day-to-day.
Though fiction seems rational,
reality is off the rails,
Absolute madness everyday.

Picture frames in a home are lucky,
When this is all temporary for us.
We are comfortable and happy,
But they'll take - It's a 'must'.

Overanalyze my medical history,
As you let me down for years.
I've screamed for help forever,
You just silenced the child beneath this.

I fall in love with victim's of war,
Becoming comfortable is temporary.
As others experience hellscapes the same,
You show little care for anybody.

Sick to the core, coughing my lungs,
I want to sing and be free but it isn't enough.
One day I'll succumb and what do I get?
Nothing. But I deserved,
Better than this.
128 · Nov 2023
Contrast
Louisa Coller Nov 2023
The flame of our world is beautiful,
Creation of warm atmospheric euphoria.

To feel an emotional caress of my cheek,
Followed by a gasp of sun kisses on my head.

He came for raindrops falling on rear mirrors,
I never intended to see the ocean so blue.

She came here to remind herself more of you,
But it isn't what I feel she wants to do.

For a life so bright to come into mine,
Like a candle flame dimming away.

Do you really want this life I give?
I'm shocked you never stayed.
127 · Sep 2023
Anarchist.
Louisa Coller Sep 2023
I've tempted my rebellious mind,
But I lost my sense of wrong and right.
That can be abused in a world,
of white/black thinking.
Learning to be an adult,
Not a kid innit.

I don't want to be the right and wrong,
I'm a deep grey mush trying to grow up.
Your poison filled me, like a sadistic goodbye,
I'm sick and tired of wasting my own time.

Hold them closer, people ask me,
But I ain't here to suffocate nobody.
Try to analyse my life with checklists,
But I'm managing fine, just let me.

Not everything can be written down,
I just wanted to learn to let it all out.
I feel like a fool living in this game,
I wonder how much my palms will take.
123 · Dec 2022
Endless
Louisa Coller Dec 2022
I've developed a fragile heart,
It makes me afraid of change.
I want to show you love,
But I fear you won't feel the same.

Your respect is strong and rigid,
But my heart is warm and pumping.
So I feel myself falling in love,
In the ways I feel I shouldn't.

You're stories birthed amongst the stars,
Makes my heart start growing leaves.
You said the fog was way too thick,
To see the constellations.

You were all my heart craved,
Under a mistletoe Christmas.
But even this year I'm alone,
Because you're not the one in it.

Each poem I write comes to an end,
But my heart feels the same.
The pumping, the butterflies and sick,
I'd do anything for you to feel the same.
123 · Jan 2020
Words.
Louisa Coller Jan 2020
Words are hard, words are soft,
some are fragile and some are lost.
It's difficult to say, confusing at least,
words can be so clouded to me.

Days, months, years and more,
they all seem to fade inside of a blur.
I look at myself and reflect deeply,
We'll finally beat this.

Words are hard, words are soft,
some are breaking, some are gone.
It's such a shame to hold your breath,
as words and pictures are laid to rest.
122 · Jun 2024
Ripped Apart.
Louisa Coller Jun 2024
Why has love become so complex,
We'd rather chip or slash,
A work of art before,
We can even admire them.

When did love become so bitter,
Your love was miniscule but your,
Hatred overflowing like hurricanes,
Mixed with waterfalls.

I open my heart so carefully like a door,
A creak or chip could damage it more,
But you rip it open like a nut,
So violently merciless it makes me numb.

Where has the love of storybooks gone?
A knight was unrealistic, pretentious,
but our fathers were hardworking, learning,
Yet you choose to throw stones in glass homes.

No matter the words I speak to you,
My voice is silenced like I am nothing more,
Than a fun experience or life lesson,
While you can take what you want from me,
Until I'm dead.
121 · Nov 2023
Temporary
Louisa Coller Nov 2023
You said this love was temporary,
Until you found a new one.

Why should I be left,
Because I'm not traditional.

Your cheeky ways blow my mind,
I'm thinking of you all the time.

My heart pounds loud,
Especially without you.

But I can't live,
Without saying I love you.

Maybe you'd hoped for a different time,
But I had to do this for us to find...

The beauty that is known as us,
For every memory I'm grateful of.

A part of me hopes you never fall in love again,
Just so I can keep you in my arms forever.
121 · Jun 2022
The abused one
Louisa Coller Jun 2022
Leaving her side brittle and torn,
Overdramatic assumptions and worse truths.
Vicious glances and brutal stares,
Even now, I wonder if she cries.
120 · Sep 2023
I Wasn't.
Louisa Coller Sep 2023
I thought I was strange for smelling the flowers, but now I understand your bitter taste.

Hope, love and grief swam by with the sound of memories in my brain, yet the scent of your words felt sour and cold.

I hope you found your sunflower amongst the sky, but I hope you know I won't let you water mine.
118 · Aug 2022
Valued
Louisa Coller Aug 2022
It hurts me to know,
How people left you to rot.

But the moment I yearned for you,
Is when they saw you as valuable enough.
117 · Jun 2024
Free
Louisa Coller Jun 2024
My brain is so overworked,
I'm short circuiting quite hard.

My heart is breaking pathetically,
Why am I this hurt?

I'm sick of pleasing others,
But everyone wants something for free.

I'm just exhausted when that something
Is me.
116 · Jan 2023
Goodbye Ram...
Louisa Coller Jan 2023
The ram is leaving the farm soon,
I felt myself chip away.
All of the songs you haven't heard,
began pulsating a sensation of pain.
Small gasps of air, but understanding,
I can't force you to stay here.
But I made the barn a place to relax,
to see you walk away devastates.

The ram is readying to go soon,
It's enjoying it's final suppers.
I really hope I can enjoy a meal,
knowing the Ram had it in store.

The Ram is leaving soon,
I checked for them each day.
I would always stare towards the sun,
wishing the ram a better day.

The ram, it's not staying,
A sense of denial, laughter and suffering.
Who will accompany the lonely bull now?
If the ram has gone away.
116 · Nov 2022
Exhausted
Louisa Coller Nov 2022
Exhausted by excitement,
Followed up by daily activity.
You feel yourself paralyzed in fear,
Nobody else would even begin to...
Speak, you're trying your hardest to speak.

Yet everyone hears my shouts
As whispers
In the night.
113 · Feb 2020
Restless.
Louisa Coller Feb 2020
There's a piece or a snap,
It's really just as simple as that.

Work really hard everyday,
Leaving myself in absolute pain.

I close my eyes in the dark,
I manage to hurt even that.

I'm everyone's fix of everyday,
Not a single moment for me.
111 · Aug 2022
Just, Let Me Go...
Louisa Coller Aug 2022
Complex past lives can fit like a puzzle,
but your desire for suffering came in with a chainsaw.
Lives can be truthful and forever a memory-filled mind,
but your lack of forgiveness, leaves me invalidated.

I just want to let it all fade in the wind,
of course I'll take consequences, but you just won't forget,
to remind me, to stab me as each day passes on,
I just want to let it all fade and be gone.

Perish my thoughts, re-create some kind of lie,
because so many years were lost because of your sick minds.
You chose to fracture the soul of a child,
to have her grow up picking pieces up, begging for a reminder,
as to why she should live on, as each day grows harder.

Is it so hard to forget about me? As I'm already left alone.
Is it so hard to let me be, just let me go.
The more you hold onto me, it suffocates me more,
I understand I wasn't great, but you're killing my soul.

I could fight mountains, earthquakes and stop tropical storms too,
no matter what amount of work I put in, it's worthless to you.
I don't know what else to say, what's the point of talking too,
when you erase each word I say to fabricate something new.

I'm done with all this suffering, I'm done with all this pain,
I've tried 300 times to just start over again,
won't you let me just grow, I don't want to hear my name.
Because of you, I started to hate every single one of my veins.

Frustration turns to tears, I can't deal with this again, it's pathetic,
it's petty and I'm getting exhausted of your games.
If I were to start over, to live my life again,
I wouldn't waste a breath on you, I'd walk the other way.
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