i grew up in a house of whispers and maybe that's why i still can't talk.
i grew up in a house of "hands to yourself" and maybe that's why i still don't like to be touched.
i grew up in a house of "daddy will visit again soon" and maybe that's why i still don't trust anyone.
i grew up in 6 different houses and maybe that's why i still have trouble calling this house a home.
they say "don't make a home out of a person" but i've never been able to make a home out of a house and i'm sick of being homeless
I GREW UP WAY TOO FAST AND MAYBE THAT'S WHY IM BROKEN.
i grew up in a house of held breaths and maybe that's why i still can't breathe.
i grew up in a house of "don't tell the kids at school" and maybe that's why my shoulders are still heavy.
i grew up in a house that was always empty and maybe that's why i'm still lonely.
i grew up in a house of "i'll be home later" and maybe that's why i still can't sleep.
i grew up in a house of "take care of your brother" and maybe that's why i still can't take care of myself.
i grew up in a house of lost photo albums and maybe that's why i still don't like having my picture taken.
i grew up in a house without any "i love you"s and maybe that's why i still don't love myself.
now i'm growing up in a house of "keep your head down" and "don't make him mad" and maybe that's why i haven't been able to look at anyone.

Someone just said something about me,
It’s starting to drive me crazy,
Oh please don’t make it start again,
This isn’t a feeling that can be supported by any men,

My thoughts are beginning to race,
At much too fast of a pace,
I keep trying to make it stop,
I can already feel myself drop,

It’s called anxiety,
Oh there goes gravity,
Here comes insanity,
And everyone’s pity,

I’m starting to lose control,
I can’t feel myself as a whole,
I need help,
I need help,

Here we go again,
I can’t wait for,
The moment when,
My head stops its own war,

It’s called anxiety,
It’s not ending anytime now,
It’s being juged in our society,
It’s not something we should allow,

It’s called anxiety,
Oh there goes gravity,
Here comes insanity,
And everyone’s pity

Whether or not you think about it
I still probably do
I've kept you in a box in the corner of my mind
I still remember you like a Polaroid picture
faded and forever still
like you never changed

Whether or not we talked everyday
or just once in a while
I'll still remember the way you are

whether or not I lost you
or you're still mine
whether or not we fought
once upon a time

I still probably
I still think about you
We were once good
we used to smile
and at some point
I understood your mind
and I'll always still remember you
every person that walked in on my life

the moment you asked me to change, i knew that i couldn't.
i can't change the way i fiddle with my hair constantly or the way i bite the inside of my lip when i'm concentrating. i can't change the way i speak far too much and also too little. i can't change the way my clothes cling to the parts of my body that they shouldn't. i can't change the way i over analyse everything or the way i laugh. i can't change the way i fall for people who spin a tale with adjectives and a happily ever after. i can't change the way i'm constantly nervous and jumpy and always wondering whether you notice me. i can't change the way i read other people's words like they're going out of style. i can't change the way i have too many questions and not nearly enough answers. i can't change the way i don't sleep because i'm too busy pondering the great workings of the universe.
i can't change me any more than i can change the direction of gale force winds simply by blowing into the air. i can't change the way i loved you and i can't change the way that all of that wasn't enough.